[ It's how he copes, really. Because it can't be all bad if it's funny, right? Surely there's some humor in getting his ass brutally handed to him by Hargrove or sneaking into a secret Russian facility and getting freaking tortured for his troubles.
Steve gives her a grin in response, adding a spring to his step. ]
Alright, alright. The next time the big, bad Russians decide to swing on by, I'll tell them they have to get permission from Miss Wheeler first.
[ It's probably in poor taste, he knows, but it still gets a chuckle out of him anyway. ]
I like that you think I'm joking. [ there's a little bit of a snarkiness to her tone, or maybe it's arrogance, but not the real kind. she even turns her nose up and pushes her shoulders back, a true Tough Guy ] I'll have you know I can be quite intimidating when the situation calls for it. [ like he hasn't seen her poised and ready to fire a shotgun at a monster, in some form or another before.
there isn't exactly a spring to her step, but her shoulders are starting to relax a bit. this- really isn't like old times, but that's definitely a good thing. it's making her feel like maybe hawkins doesn't have to be filled with nothing but bad memories. maybe. at the very least, like maybe she and steve can build up something like a friendship, after everything ]
Or, hear me out, you could maybe try to stay out of trouble for once?
[ His track record is . . . well, he'd put it at 50-50 right now. He didn't mean to stumble straight into the demogorgon's path but fortunately for Nancy and Jonathan, he did. As for Billy, he'd step up and throw himself in between that asshole (rest in peace, or something) and Lucas every single time. The Russian base situation had spiralled wildly out of control before he could even blink but seeing as Dustin and Erica were among the few to come out physically unscathed that night, he'll call that a win.
[ nancy's mouth presses into a line, eyes going wide - the truest expression of no comment ever given. she doesn't want to ague with him, not really, even if there's a part of her that wants to wrap him up in bubble wrap and keep him somewhere safe so he can always be there for the people she cares about, in case she can't be. somehow. billy's might have been a monster even before he was taken over by the mind flayer, but he ultimately gave his life to protect the person that could take the whole thing down. sacrifice. just like bob, just like hopper, just like eleven.
she's so damn tired of people in her life needing to make that choice. ]
At least it's over now. I mean, my summer job is toast, so I have- literally nothing to keep me occupied, but I guess it's never too early to start filling out college applications.
[ Steve shrugs his shoulders, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck. A chunk of Hawkins was on the unemployment line now at least, so they were in good company. Somewhat, anyway.
As the subject turns to college applications, he raises an eyebrow. ]
I'm just surprised you haven't already started them, Nance. What's the world coming to?
[ He's teasing, mostly. He'd actually put in some effort and saw how damn long it took him to do his own applications; it's not something he'd expect to get done on top of a summer job and, oh, saving the world for the umpteenth time or whatever. ]
I've! Been busy. [ her laugh is a little embarrassed, a little defensive, but still genuine ] I've already sent in two for early decision, but I have three more to round out my top five. NYU is a reach school, but- You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, right?
[ it's a tiny bit depressing, losing her internship at the newspaper when she's planning on majoring in journalism, but. the place was suddenly shut down! so. colleges don't have to know she was fire right before then. right? she thinks she's earned the right to include it.
anyway, it's kind of nice, walking around this time of the evening. the sun's dropping low, bringing the temperature down to something a little more tolerable. the fireflies are out in full force, glowing soft yellow and green on well-cut lawns, lining the streets. it's almost- normal. except she's taking a walk with steve, and not jonathan, and the only reason why that's actually very weird is because that longing in her chest that's been around since jonathan moved away seems to have ebbed, just a bit. enough that she's noticed.
she's glad steve's here with her, not disappointed that he isn't jonathan. and isn't that something? ]
I meant what I said, you know. In that text. And I know- I know you don't want to hear it, but I wanted to tell you again. In person.
[ He tenses up almost immediately when she starts into it. Ever since their conversation — if you could even call it that — Steve had been internally bracing himself for this moment. Nancy Wheeler wasn't one to back off from something like this. But for him, the wounds from the previous fall had been slowly healing over, and things were maybe, sort of? falling back into place.
Maybe.
There's only the briefest grimace on his face before Steve's features smooth out and he shakes his head, giving her a mild half-grin. ]
You're not that good at listening, are you? [ Which is a lie, he knows. If anyone, Nancy was the first person who listened to him. ] We're fine. We're good. Did you seriously haul yourself over here the minute you could to pull that up again?
[ there's another look of mild offense at that, but he moves on pretty quickly so she won't get into banter with him ]
And you really love using the word fine to describe- everything. [ which is true and he knows it. mike does the same shit when he's really not fine. maybe it's a boy thing. ] Maybe I did. Maybe I just wanted to see you. [ ... wait that's not any less incriminating ] I mean, I didn't like how our conversation ended before I left.
[ her voice is a little quieter now ]
-- Is this good? Really? This is what "good" is for us now?
[ seriously makes her slow to a stop, biting her lip as she looks that way. not down, certainly not at steve, but. away. ]
I don't know? I don't know. [ she rushes this next bit ] I guess- With Jonathan gone, and Will, and El, it just- It feels like we're outnumbered all of a sudden? And I know we're supposed to be optimistic, I know it's done and we should move on, but that's what we thought last year, isn't it?
What if something happens, and we're not... actually good?
[ this is nancy wheeler not being able to admit she still feels guilty ]
[ His voice trails off as he mentally connects the dots. It was a very real concern when it came to them, especially him with his track record and everything. If Dustin and Erica had been any later, they likely wouldn't be speaking in hypotheticals at this point. Or at all, really.
He swallows hard once at the thought, then sucks in a bit of air. ]
[ there's a pause, like she needs to let the moment settle, maybe, sink in. ]
Okay. [ she releases a breath she hadn't realized she was holding in, hands linking together in front of her. she's fussing, a bit. still thinking. she's still got the thinky-face on. ] And- So I'm supposed to just ignore the way you kind of tense up anytime I say the word "bullshit". That's something I should get used to?
[ there isn't an ounce of sarcasm in her tone, and there's something like concern in her voice, but she's trying not to lay it on too thick or anything. she's pretty sure he'll just shut her down again if she's not too careful. ]
I don't- [ aah. just say it. just get it out. ] I don't want to hurt you. Anymore. And I don't know if I'm doing that because we never talk about it. So this is me trying to talk about it.
[ He says it almost immediately, without a second thought, and actually winces at his own words. With a sigh, Steve lifts a hand to scratch at the back of his neck again as he glances aside, taking a moment to consider his words. ]
. . . I mean, look. What's the point? What do— I don't know, what do either of us have to gain by rehashing this shit. We've both moved on. What's the point. Just, you know. Just leave it.
[ It's sweet, really, that she doesn't want to hurt him anymore, but everything Nancy Wheeler-related is like a gaping wound to Steve. It's hurt less over time, but it was a state of being, so. Whatever. He'd figured that over time, it would hurt less and less until it didn't hurt at all, and things would be fine. They had to be fine. ]
[ there's honestly no reason why "we've both moved on" should stick out in her mind like a headline in bold print, but for some reason it does. and it's not really anything like jealousy or entitlement that strikes her, it's the fact that it makes her actually- think about it. for a moment. and that's weird. he's stating a simple thing. a fact, actually. it's a fact.
he's right. of course he's right.
she wants to argue it, because when does nancy not want to argue? but she won't.
and there's another i'm sorry that she wants to voice, but she won't do that either ]
You're right. [ she doesn't actually sound like she's agreeing with him, but she's trying. ] So we'll... move on. [ like it's that easy. she takes a slow step forward again, continuing their walk ] And I think we should move onto the diner. I know it was just a joke, but now I want a milkshake. You can get whatever you want, my treat.
[ He's honestly surprised that she doesn't argue, so it throws him for a loop when she agrees. This was what he wanted, right? It's for the best, isn't it?
He starts walking again, matching her pace. ]
Your treat, huh? [ Steve raises an eyebrow briefly before he grins, continuing. ] Alright, alright, I'm sold.
[ They don't have to talk about it, so he just . . . won't. It's easier that way. Milkshakes are easier than letting the salt slip through again. ]
[ oh, it's there. it's simmering just under the surface. the "okay, but-". it's right there. but so is the desire to make sure things are okay, and maybe- maybe that's how things are going to go now. maybe that was part of the problem, you know, on her part? boundaries. and her.. lack of them. lack of respecting them! that's a thing she can learn to do. she's so focused on truth, and honesty, but maybe there's limits to that. she can handle that.
she can. ]
So... Do you have plans? For the rest of summer?
[ man she's really bad at hiding when she wants to be talking about something else. sooo bad. ]
[ He seems to relax almost instantly as the conversation shifts, his guard slowly beginning to lower. ]
Job hunting, eventually. Robin's got a few leads we're looking into, so that'll keep my father off my back. [ He shrugs at that. ] Apparently, the mall imploding on itself or whatever is a good enough excuse to get a couple weeks off before I have to hit the grind again.
[ Steve's relationship with his parents has always been . . . latchkey, to say the least. He wouldn't say that they didn't care, necessarily, because he knows deep down that it's no coincidence that the Harringtons are in town for an extended period of time after their son was involved in the "mall fire" or whatever excuse the government gave to cover it all up. Really, any complaints on his part about them seem petty in comparison to other "top-tier" parenting he's seen over the last few years — Dustin leaning over from the passenger seat to whisper to him about El's past (or, presumably, his interpretation of it), the way Will would get quiet whenever fathers would get brought up, the tightness in Jonathan's jaw at the same time, how Max would push, always push, and Billy Hargrove's whole sad existence.
The worst thing he had to say was "my dad made me get a job on my own and hid the key to the liquor cabinet like an ass." ]
Knowing my luck, I'll get roped into being Dustin's personal driver or something until then.
King Steve, the chauffeur. It sort of has a nice ring to it. Or- some kind of ring, anyway.
[ she couldn't help it, okay. it was an easy shot to take, and hopefully the soft tone of her voice and the smile on her face makes it obvious she didn't mean it in a cutting way. she chews her lip again, only hesitating for a moment before- ]
Do your parents know? I mean, do they know everything that's happened? Mine are in the dark, somehow. I mean, they know about the lab, but they don't know the details. They really don't know how involved with it we all were. I don't think I'd ever be allowed to leave the house again if they did.
[ He's not offended by it. If anything, it makes him smile a bit more. Sure, being a chauffeur was demeaning, but deep down he knows he'd do anything for those kids — especially Dustin. And it meant he'd know they were safe and not getting chased by some fleshy abomination on their bikes or something, so that was a bonus.
His smile fades as the subject shifts to his parents, and Steve shakes his head slowly. ]
Hell no. All they know is I was caught up in the cover-up story at Starcourt, which— [ at that, he gestures at his face. ] — they bought? Somehow? But that's it. They don't even know about the lab or anything.
That's probably a good thing. My mom actually indirectly convinced me to chase after this, to figure out what the hell was going on. She obviously had no idea people were being brainwashed to sacrifice themselves to this- giant- monster trying to take over the world, but she told me not to give up on it.I like to think maybe she'd be proud of me, if she knew the truth, but it wouldn't stop her from grounding me for the rest of my life. So it's definitely for the best.
[ she's giving steve yet another look, a fond sort of thing hidden beneath the.. something. ]
To be fair, you do have a penchant for getting in trouble. Including the face-hurting kind. Maybe they just think you got into another fight.
[ As she relays the story about her mother to him, Steve actually smiles a little bit, chuckling softly. ]
Yeah, seriously. Your mom is one hell of a multitasker sometimes, so she'd do both while reaming Mike a new one.
[ He lifts a hand to scrub at his face lightly. The bruising had finally faded, and his face wasn't nearly as sensitive as it had been before, all the residual puffiness gone. It had looked worse than it was, honestly, but he'd seen the concern on everyone's faces — including his parents, in their own way. The fact that they were still in town for weeks on end was a signal on its own. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Steve gives her a grin in response, adding a spring to his step. ]
Alright, alright. The next time the big, bad Russians decide to swing on by, I'll tell them they have to get permission from Miss Wheeler first.
[ It's probably in poor taste, he knows, but it still gets a chuckle out of him anyway. ]
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there isn't exactly a spring to her step, but her shoulders are starting to relax a bit. this- really isn't like old times, but that's definitely a good thing. it's making her feel like maybe hawkins doesn't have to be filled with nothing but bad memories. maybe. at the very least, like maybe she and steve can build up something like a friendship, after everything ]
Or, hear me out, you could maybe try to stay out of trouble for once?
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[ His track record is . . . well, he'd put it at 50-50 right now. He didn't mean to stumble straight into the demogorgon's path but fortunately for Nancy and Jonathan, he did. As for Billy, he'd step up and throw himself in between that asshole (rest in peace, or something) and Lucas every single time. The Russian base situation had spiralled wildly out of control before he could even blink but seeing as Dustin and Erica were among the few to come out physically unscathed that night, he'll call that a win.
He waves a hand idly. ]
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she's so damn tired of people in her life needing to make that choice. ]
At least it's over now. I mean, my summer job is toast, so I have- literally nothing to keep me occupied, but I guess it's never too early to start filling out college applications.
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[ Steve shrugs his shoulders, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck. A chunk of Hawkins was on the unemployment line now at least, so they were in good company. Somewhat, anyway.
As the subject turns to college applications, he raises an eyebrow. ]
I'm just surprised you haven't already started them, Nance. What's the world coming to?
[ He's teasing, mostly. He'd actually put in some effort and saw how damn long it took him to do his own applications; it's not something he'd expect to get done on top of a summer job and, oh, saving the world for the umpteenth time or whatever. ]
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[ it's a tiny bit depressing, losing her internship at the newspaper when she's planning on majoring in journalism, but. the place was suddenly shut down! so. colleges don't have to know she was fire right before then. right? she thinks she's earned the right to include it.
anyway, it's kind of nice, walking around this time of the evening. the sun's dropping low, bringing the temperature down to something a little more tolerable. the fireflies are out in full force, glowing soft yellow and green on well-cut lawns, lining the streets. it's almost- normal. except she's taking a walk with steve, and not jonathan, and the only reason why that's actually very weird is because that longing in her chest that's been around since jonathan moved away seems to have ebbed, just a bit. enough that she's noticed.
she's glad steve's here with her, not disappointed that he isn't jonathan. and isn't that something? ]
I meant what I said, you know. In that text. And I know- I know you don't want to hear it, but I wanted to tell you again. In person.
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Maybe.
There's only the briefest grimace on his face before Steve's features smooth out and he shakes his head, giving her a mild half-grin. ]
You're not that good at listening, are you? [ Which is a lie, he knows. If anyone, Nancy was the first person who listened to him. ] We're fine. We're good. Did you seriously haul yourself over here the minute you could to pull that up again?
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And you really love using the word fine to describe- everything. [ which is true and he knows it. mike does the same shit when he's really not fine. maybe it's a boy thing. ] Maybe I did. Maybe I just wanted to see you. [ ... wait that's not any less incriminating ] I mean, I didn't like how our conversation ended before I left.
[ her voice is a little quieter now ]
-- Is this good? Really? This is what "good" is for us now?
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[ It's nice, vague, and simple, and an easy fall-back.
His jaw sets as he continues, voice tightening a bit but still measured. ]
Nancy, let me ask you something. Seriously. What are you hoping to accomplish with this? What did you want "good" to be.
sorry couldn't resist heheh
I don't know? I don't know. [ she rushes this next bit ] I guess- With Jonathan gone, and Will, and El, it just- It feels like we're outnumbered all of a sudden? And I know we're supposed to be optimistic, I know it's done and we should move on, but that's what we thought last year, isn't it?
What if something happens, and we're not... actually good?
[ this is nancy wheeler not being able to admit she still feels guilty ]
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[ His voice trails off as he mentally connects the dots. It was a very real concern when it came to them, especially him with his track record and everything. If Dustin and Erica had been any later, they likely wouldn't be speaking in hypotheticals at this point. Or at all, really.
He swallows hard once at the thought, then sucks in a bit of air. ]
Okay, but. We're good. You've gotta believe that, Nance.
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Okay. [ she releases a breath she hadn't realized she was holding in, hands linking together in front of her. she's fussing, a bit. still thinking. she's still got the thinky-face on. ] And- So I'm supposed to just ignore the way you kind of tense up anytime I say the word "bullshit". That's something I should get used to?
[ there isn't an ounce of sarcasm in her tone, and there's something like concern in her voice, but she's trying not to lay it on too thick or anything. she's pretty sure he'll just shut her down again if she's not too careful. ]
I don't- [ aah. just say it. just get it out. ] I don't want to hurt you. Anymore. And I don't know if I'm doing that because we never talk about it. So this is me trying to talk about it.
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[ He says it almost immediately, without a second thought, and actually winces at his own words. With a sigh, Steve lifts a hand to scratch at the back of his neck again as he glances aside, taking a moment to consider his words. ]
. . . I mean, look. What's the point? What do— I don't know, what do either of us have to gain by rehashing this shit. We've both moved on. What's the point. Just, you know. Just leave it.
[ It's sweet, really, that she doesn't want to hurt him anymore, but everything Nancy Wheeler-related is like a gaping wound to Steve. It's hurt less over time, but it was a state of being, so. Whatever. He'd figured that over time, it would hurt less and less until it didn't hurt at all, and things would be fine. They had to be fine. ]
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he's right. of course he's right.
she wants to argue it, because when does nancy not want to argue? but she won't.
and there's another i'm sorry that she wants to voice, but she won't do that either ]
You're right. [ she doesn't actually sound like she's agreeing with him, but she's trying. ] So we'll... move on. [ like it's that easy. she takes a slow step forward again, continuing their walk ] And I think we should move onto the diner. I know it was just a joke, but now I want a milkshake. You can get whatever you want, my treat.
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He starts walking again, matching her pace. ]
Your treat, huh? [ Steve raises an eyebrow briefly before he grins, continuing. ] Alright, alright, I'm sold.
[ They don't have to talk about it, so he just . . . won't. It's easier that way. Milkshakes are easier than letting the salt slip through again. ]
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she can. ]
So... Do you have plans? For the rest of summer?
[ man she's really bad at hiding when she wants to be talking about something else. sooo bad. ]
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Job hunting, eventually. Robin's got a few leads we're looking into, so that'll keep my father off my back. [ He shrugs at that. ] Apparently, the mall imploding on itself or whatever is a good enough excuse to get a couple weeks off before I have to hit the grind again.
[ Steve's relationship with his parents has always been . . . latchkey, to say the least. He wouldn't say that they didn't care, necessarily, because he knows deep down that it's no coincidence that the Harringtons are in town for an extended period of time after their son was involved in the "mall fire" or whatever excuse the government gave to cover it all up. Really, any complaints on his part about them seem petty in comparison to other "top-tier" parenting he's seen over the last few years — Dustin leaning over from the passenger seat to whisper to him about El's past (or, presumably, his interpretation of it), the way Will would get quiet whenever fathers would get brought up, the tightness in Jonathan's jaw at the same time, how Max would push, always push, and Billy Hargrove's whole sad existence.
The worst thing he had to say was "my dad made me get a job on my own and hid the key to the liquor cabinet like an ass." ]
Knowing my luck, I'll get roped into being Dustin's personal driver or something until then.
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[ she couldn't help it, okay. it was an easy shot to take, and hopefully the soft tone of her voice and the smile on her face makes it obvious she didn't mean it in a cutting way. she chews her lip again, only hesitating for a moment before- ]
Do your parents know? I mean, do they know everything that's happened? Mine are in the dark, somehow. I mean, they know about the lab, but they don't know the details. They really don't know how involved with it we all were. I don't think I'd ever be allowed to leave the house again if they did.
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His smile fades as the subject shifts to his parents, and Steve shakes his head slowly. ]
Hell no. All they know is I was caught up in the cover-up story at Starcourt, which— [ at that, he gestures at his face. ] — they bought? Somehow? But that's it. They don't even know about the lab or anything.
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[ she's giving steve yet another look, a fond sort of thing hidden beneath the.. something. ]
To be fair, you do have a penchant for getting in trouble. Including the face-hurting kind. Maybe they just think you got into another fight.
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Yeah, seriously. Your mom is one hell of a multitasker sometimes, so she'd do both while reaming Mike a new one.
[ He lifts a hand to scrub at his face lightly. The bruising had finally faded, and his face wasn't nearly as sensitive as it had been before, all the residual puffiness gone. It had looked worse than it was, honestly, but he'd seen the concern on everyone's faces — including his parents, in their own way. The fact that they were still in town for weeks on end was a signal on its own. ]
Only when I hang out with you guys.