[ it started with a phone call from robin. who always talks a mile a minute, but this was different. she sounded manic, but her voice was a bit lower than usual too, somehow? she managed to not explain much of anything for about thirty seconds before nancy finally cut her off with a "robin. robin! you need to tell me what happened. now." and it all came tumbling out.
she miscounted the days, steve picked her up for work, like always, "I just thought I was horny! regular horny, not- you know!" ( yeah, nancy knew ) two hours into their shift, she went into heat. "i don't know, it happened too fast, i really don't know." - "it was like I smacked him across the face, and he couldn't get out of there fast enough." steve left? wow, maybe they... actually were just friends. "capital P, nance!" right. "i'm okay. vicki picked me up, i'm with her now. ... she's such a good friend!." they're definitely fucking. "make sure he got home safe, nancy, please." like she even had to ask.
she calls his house first, gives up after four rings, grabs her keys and drives. she takes her suppressants- pretty regularly? so it should be fine. it's worth the risk. the worst edges of her worry ease up as she parks next to his car at the top of his long driveway, and as always, instead of playing this smart or even y'know, knocking on the door before entering? she dives in headfirst. ]
Steve? It's me, It's Nancy. I- [ oh, wow. his house is genuinely huge, but nancy barely makes it through the front door before she feels it. because it's not just a scent, she can feel it. she can feel him. it's almost intoxicating, overwhelmingly so, makes her feel flush all over, swaying on the spot. but it's also... familiar. and safe. and way more intense than she remembers. something ugly settles hot in her gut when she realizes that it might be this strong because he's already found someone else to help him through this, but she shoves that down to unpack later. fuck. she's moving towards the stairs before she even realizes it, grips the banister once she does, forces herself not to run to where she instinctually knows she'll find him. okay. okay. okay. she steadies herself, calls up the stairs again- ] Robin called me. I just- I need to know that you're okay.
[ of all the many qualities that nancy wheeler possesses, resilience is probably one of the ones she's most proud of. and the most confident in. she's fought through hell over the last few years, emotionally and even somewhat literally when she thinks about what it was light being in the upside down, and survived. when she realized she wanted to be able to protect the ones she loved from monsters, she quickly bypassed feeling inadequate about her petite frame by learning how to handle a gun, even though it meant putting herself on the front lines more often than not. and maybe there aren't any monsters or interdimensional hellscapes to conquer in boston, but it is her first time living alone, in a giant city, that's absolutely nothing like hawkins, indiana. playing catch-up by starting her first semester at emerson about a month and a half after classes started was a lot, and it turns out starting at the same time as everyone else for her second semester isn't actually all that much easier. still! she's working her ass off, and boston is finally, finally starting to feel more comfortably familiar than she ever thought it would, when she first moved into her barely-off-campus apartment.
but the one thing that's been excruciatingly difficult to bear, and hasn't gotten even a little bit easier over time, is how much she misses steve harrington. like- shit. shit. her mother might have surprised her with a long-distance calling card, but the allotted time is pretty limited, all things considered. she can't actually use up all of her minutes catching up with steve, when her mom worries so much, and she likes being able to catch up with robin, too. plus, it's obviously different, not physically seeing them, verses not physically spending time with steve. like.
really different. hah.
when they decided they wanted to try again, give it another shot as a couple, they agreed that they shouldn't jump into anything officially right before her move to boston, but they were going to stay in touch, for sure. so leaving in the fall wasn't easy, but there was definitely some comfort in knowing she would be back home just a few weeks later for christmas. however, leaving for that second semester was like- a lot. maybe it's because nancy always loved the holidays, and spending most of her break with steve had been really, reallyreallyreally great. baking cookies and drinking cocoa with too many marshmallows and toasty, itchy sweaters and multiple viewings of her favorite christmas movies ( the jack frost claymation, and a chipmunk christmas ) and- all of it. sharing all of that with him again was even better than she could have hoped. and they even somehow, miraculously, managed to keep things ..mostly chaste. mostly. 90%. making out and heavy petting hardly counted as breaking the rules on taking things slow. so with all that said, heading back to boston after was a lot harder than she expected it to be, honestly.
but luckily! she's finally made it to spring break.
which means she's also finally made it to steve's visit to boston. FINALLY. she's been a little goofy with her excitement the whole week, enough that some of her new friends even commented on it, but that's fine. she's not all that concerned about how goofy or dorky or lovestruck she's acting, as one of her more dramatic classmates called it- all she really cares about is finally getting to see him again. and show him around the city! and y'know... whatever other fun stuff they may or may not get up to, that's only made possible with spending time with him in person. heh.
it's a picture-perfect boston spring day - maybe a little brisk, but no worse than indiana could get. the the sun is shining, the sky is a pretty blue, and if steve's flight was running on schedule ( which she knew it was, because she called the airport to check!! ), it landed abooooout a half an hour ago. which means his taxi should be dropping him off at the campus green in- a few minutes, honestly. no... ANY MINUTE NOW. she really tried to play it cool, but by the time 'minutes' became ANY MINUTE NOW, she's starting to very casually pace mosey around the wide section of sidewalk where she's almost positive the cab will drop him off. and by almost, she means absolutely positive, because she's had mini heart attacks every time someone else was dropped off right in this spot. so. she knows. and now she just- has to wait. she's waiting. very patiently and calmly waiting. because she's resilient! and in this instance, it means--
it's literally a fucking miracle that she doesn't actually run the few yards between her and his taxi before he's even gotten his bag out of the trunk, but she still only manages to wait right where she is, smile beaming, for half a second before rushing over and basically jumping up into his arms for a hug. oh, although she did wave to the taxi driver first, and even thanked him for getting him there safe. but then she's jumping up and clinging tight and smushing half a dozen kisses to his cheek and his ear and his temple and his jaw, before tucking her face against his neck and then squeezing him even tighter. ]
[ If there's one thing that Steve can be sure of, it's that life is funny. Not funny haha, really, but funny weird. Because right now things are so, impossibly, normal, that it makes him feel like some horrible revelation could be revealed at any moment. But after their home town is torn apart, things just go on, and he has to face the fact that life always goes on, no matter what sort of fucked up shit happens.
It isn't easy, not that he expected it to be. The immediate aftermath had been sort of a daze, all of them like zombies shuffling between tasks in a hope to rebuild, to find a way back to "normal". But once the dust had settled and all the donated clothing had been sorted, the pb&js slapped together, there had to be a way forward. Unsurprisingly, video rentals fell to the bottom of folks' priorities, and Family Video had shuttered its doors. Steve had picked something up in construction, and found he liked the way the job took nearly everything out of him, made him too tired to think of monsters and death.
And then there was the Nancy of it all, the fact that she was going away. Steve thought if anyone deserved to get out of here and start living a real, normal, life, it was her. So maybe that life but a few hundred miles between them, right when things between them were starting to reignite. He wasn't about to stop her, as badly as he wanted that. So Nancy went off to college in Boston, and Steve stayed behind in Hawkins hauling bags of concrete and traipsing across precariously placed metal beams.
They had phone calls, expensive as they were, and letters. Steve felt like his best self came out when it was time to sit down and write a letter to her. Christmas had been a wonderful reprieve from the distance, filled with chances to sneak away and make out, even though they definitely weren't a couple. Not at all. They were just figuring things out, and that was fine. Never mind that he's fairly certain he felt his heart split in two when she went back off to Boston.
But they weren't dating, not really, not officially, so he tried to shove the feeling down.
So maybe he's been counting down the days to her spring break, has long since put in the request to have the time off, to book the plane tickets. They're still just friends, strictly speaking, though he's never felt his stomach turn end over end like this for any friend. He tries to sleep on the plane ride to Boston and fails miserably, his heartbeat unable to settle to any comfortable resting rate.
When he hails a taxi to the Boston commons he thinks he might be able to relax, but everything seems to kick into the highest gear. Months have become days have become hours have become minutes, and all he wants is to wrap her up in the tightest hug he can deliver. And then he's here, and it doesn't feel real anymore. He's stepping out of the cab, suitcase in one hand, and she's right there, waiting for him, throwing herself into his arms. The suitcase falls with a quiet thud against the sidewalk so he can offer both arms out towards her. ]
Na-- [ Her name gets cut short as she showers him in kisses, and Steve can't help but just soak it all in. His arms wrap tightly around her as the taxi drives off, broad and stronger than she might remember. Despite the changes, it feels so familiar, in that sweet, comfortable sort of way. It's moments like these that make him wonder why they've tried to wait at all. ] Hey.
[ Steve laughs a little, curls his arms around her so he can dip her towards the ground, press a hungry kiss to her lips. They're supposed to just be friends, technically, but he's choosing to ignore that. ]
[ god, it's so corny, but he laughs, and it makes her heart swoop, and she barely has a chance to recover from it before he's leaning her back, then pressing in for that kiss. there's a brief "oops" feeling that comes along once she feels her fingers threading loosely in the hair at the back of his neck, keeping him close, because this isn't what slow looks like, she thinks. she's pretty sure. but, y'know, it could be argued that kissing the hell out of him now will make it easier to chill out for the rest of their long weekend together. y'know. like- this will totally be enough.
by the time she's caught her footing again, then slooowly brings herself properly upright out of the crazy cute way he dipped her, she realizes that the idea of one kiss being able to sate everything she's feeling right now is total bullshit. but she can try? they can try. they should try. probably. right? she almost manages to sneak in a quiet- ] Hi. [ -against his lips before they've actually stopped kissing, but it comes out as a muffled hhhm that just makes her laugh ] Hi. [ her hand slides down to settle against his chest, starts to fuss with the zipper pull of his jacket almost immediately. she has too much energy, like the anticipation of him getting here still hasn't worn off, somehow. ] I missed you. [ did she just lightly push against his chest as she said that, like she actually might be miffed at him for it? maybe. ]
[ It's-- well, kissing her is amazing, sends an uproar of feelings through him, the kind that starts in his chest and spread to his fingertips, his toes. They've got a week together, and Steve wants it all to be like this, giddy thrills and needy kisses. But. Fuck. But they're not really supposed to be acting like this, not supposed to be stupid in love and desperate for the meeting of their mouths. He thinks they should probably talk about their baseline, maybe should agree to be more than... whatever they are. It's so hard not to kiss her again, not to direct the two of them into some dark corner so he can have his way with her. ]
I missed you too.
[ Steve says once his mental faculties begin to collect themselves. There's a reason they've been trying to do this the "right" way, and he needs to at least try and stick to that. So he straightens up, ignores the heat in his cheeks and just coils his arms around her in a tight hug. He lets his cheek rest against the top of her head, breathes in the smell of her shampoo. ]
Should we... [ His sentence is rudely interrupted by the growling of his stomach. ] Wanna get food somewhere? I'm kind of starving.
[ Steve feels so stupid, so embarrassed, so ready to bury himself beneath six feet of dirt and hope he never sees the light of day again. Because he-- he let his hormones get the better of him, let that stupid minimalist part of him win out but-- jesus, Robin of all people? Sure, he had harbored a very brief crush on her, but he knew where things stood, knew they were just friends and-- and then had picked up the scent of her going into heat and had most definitely lost his mind.
Fuck, this was so bad. So stupid. Steve has done a lot of things stupid in his life, but this was next level, truly an award winning "You have fucked up so bad" moment. The slap had honestly been good for him, had brought him back to his senses, enough so that he could turn heel and practically sprint away, throw himself into his car and get back home. Now all he had to do was pretend it never happened, and maybe, hopefully, also pass away in his bed and never be heard from again.
Then there's the sound of the front door being thrown open, and he immediately knows who it is. There's only one person who would so boldly traipse into his space right now. The moment she crosses the threshold of the front door he can smell her, feel her, and oh fuck, she shouldn't be here right now. ]
I'm fine! [ Steve calls out from the second floor, even as he braces himself against the doorway to is bedroom, hot and panting and a little too eager to go racing down the stairs towards her. ] Tell Robin I'm sorry and I'm just fine! Nothing to worry about!
[ and at first she can't get rid of the idea that he has someone up there with him already, and she knows that letting something like jealousy take a hold on her for even a little while will just turn her scent into something bolder, like some... animalistic version of wearing a skirt she knows he'll like to steal his attention back, after she noticed him watching someone else. it's so weird. and it's definitely not idea for keeping her cool right now, or helping him keep his. so she forces herself to breathe, focus. ... focus on something other than how good he smells like this.
if someone else was already here, she would definitely be able to smell them. right. yeah. especially now that she's climbed a few more of those steps, putting her about halfway up. woops.
and of course, in general, nancy always wants to help people, especially the people close to her. so she can't help but connect the dots, that if he was fully triggered by robin's heat, but nobody else is here with him to help him through it, then he's really not fine, and he needs- well. he needs. and despite the way she's still very much aware of everything going on, sharp and clear, now the only thing she feels in her gut is he needs me. and like, she's never bought into the bullshit that sometimes people are just inherently more dominant, or more submissive, and that their heat reflects as much in the way it effects others- but holy shit, she feels like she's five seconds away from begging him to let her be the one to help him. ]
I know you're not. I can feel it, you're - [ she whines, and the sound gets out before she manages to press her lips shut tight. she pulls in a deep breath, trying to clear her head, but it honestly only makes it worse. she groans this time, knuckles turning white from how tight she's holding onto the banister ] Shit, you still smell so fucking good. But I know what that means, I know how bad you need it. Please, just tell me- Tell me to come upstairs, say it's okay. Let me help you, please- [ eh it was more like seven seconds, but she's still begging. damn. ]
[ She's right, of course, that he isn't fine. That he's so far from it, that he's got his own white knuckle moment as he keeps himself held still in the doorway, his own knuckles going white at the effort of holding himself there. Steve has already resolved himself for a frustrating explosion of nothing, to pace around his room and maybe break a few things, let it all end with some pathetic masturbation.
It's really not fair, when she's creeping closer to him, when she lets out that little whine like she needs him. Because his heat aside, he-- has a lot of complicated feelings about Nancy Wheeler, and doesn't want now to be the time when they all come to a head. ]
Really, I'm alright!
[ He calls out even when that's blatantly untrue, even when he wants to beckon her up to his bedroom. He's actually gritting his teeth, forcing himself to take a few steps back, trying to land on his bed and maybe, what, sleep? But as soon as he's taken a few steps away, he erases them with several steps forward, through the door and out into the hallway. ]
But I guess if you-- if you need to, you can up here and make sure. Just take a look and then head out.
[ her heart isn't quite hammering in her chest, but now that he's hugging her so tight, she can definitely feel the way her heartbeat's noticeably picked up in tempo, which- m'kay. time to chill out, calm down, be cool about this. because yeah, it's been a few months ( three months and twelve days ) since she had to fly back here for spring semester, so of course she's missed him, but their clocked phone calls and his genuinely sweet, earnest letters definitely helped alleviate that. but it's honestly more than just that. she's let herself connect the dots between those letters, and the letters from her mom, and the ones from robin, stringing together a loose timeline of everything she's missing out on. new jobs, new neighbors, new teachers, new hobbies, new friends.
holly has a solo in one of the songs that the second graders are singing as part of their spring concert, and it's only six lines long, but she's been practicing every day, and nancy won't be back in hawkins in time to see it. and once a week, the house gets invaded by rowdy teenagers because somehow the wheeler house became the meeting place for d&d session again, but karen says she doesn't mind it, because she's just glad mike and the boys are ready to play again at all. mike still can't talk about what happened to eddie, or why hellfire had to disband at all, without getting angry about it, but with eddie finally back on his feet, they've all been able to feel better about playing again. robin writes letters the same way she tells stories and explains her ideas - three pages long and at least five side-notes on each. but nancy can actually hear it in her voice, so she ignores the part of her brain that wants to edit it all down and powers through every run-on sentence.
it's a little like torture when she stacks them all up, but she has to do it, because maybe she doesn't necessarily miss living in hawkins, but she knows how fast things can change, and the thought of falling behind on the lives of the people she loves is much worse.
and having steve here in boston with her now has made it very clear to her, very quickly, that she's felt a lot lonelier than she realized, too. she's made new friends, she's engaged in the student life, she's been making an effort. this has been her dream since the minute karen explained to her that she can actually go to school to learn how to be a journalist, so she definitely hasn't let her homesickness get in the way of experiencing absolutely every part of it. but up until right now, she hadn't realized how she's almost felt- isolated? like this dream life in boston doesn't actually exist in the same reality as her life in hawkins. the only real overlap so far has been the two mortifying times she woke up from a nightmare screaming, when the girl who lived across the hall banged on her door until she let her in. nancy confessed that she has pretty bad nightmares sometimes ( understatement ), and her new friend tried her best to reassure her by emphasizing that she just had to remind herself that it wasn't real, but just a bad dream. except... it was real? but she couldn't tell her that, so. yeah. isolating.
so nancy presses her face to his chest and holds onto him just as tight, doesn't move until she hears his stomach complain ] Oh, noohoho. [ she half smiles, half pouts as she picks up her head, her hand moving to settle over his stomach for a second, but then she nodnodnods ] Yeah, of course we can. There's about a dozen options around this whole area, and four of my favorites are actually down- [ she points ] that street, which is where we need to go to get to my apartment anyway. [ a beat, but then she's squeezing his arm, where at some point her hand moved to hold onto him, just above his elbow ] Oh! I know exactly where I want to take you. Bartley's, it's perfect. They've got burgers, sandwiches, milkshakes, bottomless crinkle fries - [ their favorite ] - and! I get a student discount there. [ she bends to grab his dropped suitcase, holding it up for him to take ] Sound good?
[ There are times when Steve feels like he's failed somehow, still being in Hawkins. It wasn't the life his father had laid out for him, no Ivy League school in pursuit of a law degree, no picture perfect white picket fence with two-point-five kids sort of affair. But somehow, after traveling across half the country to be with Nancy, he's glad he hasn't left, glad he can still easily see the people she can only be with through letter.
Most of all he's glad to just be with her, doesn't mind the distance despite the fact that he hates it. Because he wants to be there when she has those nightmares, when she's feeling lonely. He's glad that she's chasing after her dreams, even when it takes her so far from him. From their home, for better or for worse. ]
That sounds great.
[ She could have suggested anything, the most run down place in all of Boston, and that would have been alright. Steve smiles as he reaches to take his suitcase from her, leans close to press a kiss to her cheek. They make the short walk to Bartley's hand in hand, trading sweet small talk back and forth. Just catching up, talking about the little things. How she's got a professor that always sneezes, about how his foreman has the biggest mustache he's ever seen.
Before he knows it they're seated at a little table, with burgers and onion rings and bottomless crinkle fries laid out between them. Steve stretches out his legs beneath the table, lets his ankles lock with hers. He just wants to keep touching her, okay? Nothing wrong with that. ]
So, how's the big city treating you? [ He asks as he swirls a fry through a mound of ketchup. ] Bet you can barely remember small town life by now.
[ That would really be for the best, wouldn't it? ]
nancy wasn't intentionally holding her breath, but the relief that comes after he tells her to come up ( along with other, less important stuff ) leaves her in a rush, makes her exhale sharply before she hops up the last few steps. and it's bad - like, really bad - how easily she's getting caught up in her instincts, not-so-slowly letting her brain sink into that place where all she's capable of mentally processing is the uncomplicated balance of want, need, give, and take. luckily, it doesn't hit her all at once, but that's only because they've been making a pretty conscious effort to avoid putting themselves in a situation... basically just like the one they're in right now?? and some part of her remembers that.
there are some things about having steve back in her life that are simple to navigate to - he's a really good guy, and he's honest, makes her laugh, humors her when she feels the need to info dump to him about something he probably doesn't care about. and he gives a shit about the same people that she gives a shit about. but their history is- complex, while also somehow being pretty straight forward. they were both really different back then, but that doesn't mean how things played out is null and void. there are things to consider, and conversations that prrrrobably should have been continued by now, but they're both just very good at floating around in that sort of in-between. or, well, nancy is. and she's also a jerk for letting steve let her keep avoiding any situation that might leave her feeling vulnerable. so yeah, complicated.
but what isn't complicated is that seeing him like this, wrecked and a million percent for sure on the brink of his heat, hits her hard, both physically and emotionally. it's not complicated to realize how her need to help gets all perved up pretty much immediately, twisted up with all the ways she wants him, and has wanted him. she jumped into lover's lake to follow him without a second thought, and shit, jumping into bed with him would way more fun than that.
he's right there, so she doesn't stop at the top of the steps, and she's already reaching to slip the first few buttons on her shirt free before she realizes she's doing it. she forces them down to her sides with a guilty shake of her head, twists her fingers in the loose fabric of her skirt instead. she manages to stop when there's still some space between them, but she's rocking forward on the balls of her feet, fighting against her instincts. ]
Steve. [ more pleading, her toes curling up in her sneakers with the rush of arousal she gets hit with, and she isn't at the point where her clothes against her skin feels like torture, but she's definitely getting there ] It's okay. We'll be okay, I promise, just- [ because she's still aware enough to know that he's worried about that, that it was probably the only thing that was keeping him from rushing into this. she's a little breathless, despite just... standing there, but she tries to level herself out ] I- I really get it, okay, I do, it's why I've been trying not to kiss you since- way before today, because I know. But there's no way I'm leaving you like this, I won't, and I - nh - I need you, too. I want you, too.
[ nancy definitely knew before today that she was thrilled to finally introduce steve to this new part of her life, but what she didn't realize was that it was going to make her feel a whole lot more than just enjoying his company, and having fun while showing him around and catching up. the thing she's getting caught up on is that half an hour ago, she was missing him, and she was missing home. but now, sitting here, that line is sort of... blurred? they haven't actually talked about hawkins much at all yet, but that heavy weight of homesickness already feels more tolerable. also, the slight urgency of wanting to show him every part of boston she's fallen in love with, the urgency that had her planning out their whole week in advance - with backup plans if needed - is taking a back seat, too. because it's already stopped feeling like wow! steve is in boston! crazy!, and more like of course steve's in boston, why wouldn't he be here? what took him so long? like, technically he's just visiting, right? practically a tourist! but it feels like he's... not.
but that's all a little too heady to contemplate the meaning of when she's sipping her cherry milkshake and slowly pointing and flexing her feet between his, just to be annoying.
and she's wondering if he's been nudging the smaller fries with the crispy edges to the side of their basket intentionally, because he knows she likes those the best, or if it's just a happy coincidence. ]
It's actually treating me a lot nicer than I thought it would, to be honest. It took a little while to get used to it - everything is a lot closer, and louder, and faster than things are back home - but I think I've finally found my stride, yeah. [ she pauses to pluck up the exact fry that steve was clearly about to reach for, and then even steals a dab of ketchup from his side, too. ] Mm, I don't think I've forgotten anything, but if I did, I'll just follow your lead. [ she grins, but then shakes her head ] Nah, I'm pretty sure I haven't forgotten anything about Hawkins. I think about you guys all the time. Possibly too much, considering how much time I spend imagining all the things I'm missing out on while I'm here. [ ... meh but that's a downer, isn't it? so she puts on a dreamy expression, even sighs and leans to put her chin in her hand ] All those missed opportunities to visit you at work just to say hi and blatantly check you out. Tragic.
[ Only Nancy could get away with snatching away with the exact fry he had been reaching for without issue. (Which, okay, is definitely not true, because a sad eyed pigeon could have taken it from him without protest.) But there's something about it, a little silly, a little flirty, that it manages to make his heart wobble in his chest. He's definitely still listening, but he's definitely also thinking about leaning across the table to kiss her, to find out if her lips taste more like ketchup or milkshake in this moment. But Steve remains on his best behavior, focuses on his food and not missing out on what she's saying to his day dreams. ]
That's great, Nancy. [ If she has to be so far away, she should at least be enjoying her time, finding her niche, her stride. Though he still isn't especially enthused about the fact that he needs to hop on an airplane to see her, but if she's happy here, he can cope. ] You're kind of missing out, actually.
[ He gives her a little grin across the table as his fingers toy nervously at his napkin, betraying the confidence that he's trying to display. At least he can be somewhat sure this is true, because construction work means he's a little more toned and tanned than she's previously seen him. And yeah, maybe he does look good when he's hauling around construction materials. ]
I can try and replicate the experience for you while I'm here, if you want.
[ she can hear it in his tone, that same sense of- longing, almost, that she's been feeling in her chest since she got back. or, honestly, since she hugged him tight and felt him rest his cheek against the top of her head the same way she was nosing at his chest, before heading towards the gate for her boston-bound plane. just a tiny bit, hidden very convincingly behind that's great. she almost says something, almost apologizes, but steve's always been good at moving the conversation right along.
although it makes her eyes widen at first, because she's still caught up on missing out on everything that she doesn't realize he's only talking about the last part she added. not until he smiles like that, and her eyes nearly light up. it's partly because the topic is pulling her out of her slight downswing, but if he takes it solely as a sign of her enthusiasm for a recreation, she's not about to specify. ]
Oh, yeah? [ the corner of her mouth quirks up, and her feet stop fussing between his in favor of just rubbing the toe of her shoe against the heel of his, because yeah, she's definitely flirting now. it's hard not to. this feels more and more like a date as the minutes tick by, and maybe her gut should be telling her to pump the breaks to talk about that, but all it has to offer is a small swarm of butterflies fluttering about. she does notice his little tell, the way the corner of his napkin might be worn thin if he keeps it up, but it's a peripheral observation. her eyes are too busy giving him an exaggerated once-over of the view she has of him from the table, up. ] I don't even have a toolbox at my apartment, but we'll have to figure something out, because there's no way I'm letting the good city of Boston get a peek of you like that before I do. [ a beat ] Plus, I'd really rather not risk the chance of any of my classmates witnessing the way it's almost certainly going to make me lose my shit. I'd like to at least try and preserve a little of my dignity, out in public.
[ At this point, Steve is pretty sure this all can be considered a date, and well, why shouldn't it? This is what they've been dancing around ever since she left, and the fact that they've fallen so easily into it now, well-- that should say a lot, shouldn't it? But Steve's in no rush to try and put names and labels to things, is all to content to just exist in the moment that has her stealing french fries and nudging the toe of her sneakers against his. ]
Well, don't worry about that. [ Steve's laugh is bashful and boyish. There have definitely been changes to his body since they've last seen each other, but he only feels aware of them now. His body suddenly feels a little larger, a little more muscular, all because he's now being seen through Nancy's gaze. ] Put a shirt on me and I'm not much different than your average joe.
[ And that's sort of the point, he thinks. To just be normal and unassuming, to just blend in. Nancy just has a way of making him feel special, feel seen. That feeling is easy to lean in to right now, fills him with what is surely a false bravado. ]
Let's finish eating first, hm? Then you can lose your shirt.
[ her reaction to "average joe" is almost immediate, and there was no stopping it even if she had realized what her face was about to do before it was doing it. but mostly she just looks confused - still smiling! but her eyes narrow and her head tips to the side just so. it's tricky though, because it's not as if she was expecting him to be cocky about it?? he's much more humble than she remembers him ever being way-back-when, but it's just-
she just? doesn't. understand. how he doesn't? understand?
hm. but. well. okay. okay, yeah. she's not about to argue it, at least not right now. later maybe, yes. later definitely, actually. ]
Yeah, alright. [ she looks down at her burger, as if that could really hide her holy-shit-i-have-the-biggest-crush-on-him smile when he's sitting across from her at a table that just fits their shared food, but like! an attempt's been made. but then she's peeking up at him again from through her lashes ( and her somewhat grown-out bangs ), and it's game over anyway. her smile goes all out, and it's enough to make her laugh, shake her head. she takes a bite of her burger, just to force herself to stop being an idiot ] Mmh- Oh. So, I know you're probably completely exhausted from your flight, and we can go back to mine soon, I promise, but there's this park that's only a couple blocks over that I totally love, it's probably my favorite spot in the whole city, so I want to show you. [ a beat ] -- But I mean, we can always go tomorrow if you need some time to relax first. Seriously. Because it's really pretty at sundown, too? But it.. gets kind of cold. So. [ another beat ] I know it's sort of cheesy, it's just a park, but - [ it means a lot to me and you mean a lot to me so being there with you sounds really fucking perfect ] - Yeah. I've already added it to our to-do list.
[ It's true that Steve is feeling more exhausted than he lets on. There's just something about traveling that manages to suck the life out of him, though the food is definitely helping. He thinks that even if he was tired to the point of collapse he would still mange to find a way to get to the park that she's talking about, if only so he could watch her face light up from being there.
But as it stands, he's not feeling too terribly tired. The food and the milkshake have lent some of his strength back to him, and he doesn't think he'll mind a walk over to the park she's speaking about. Especially because, well, it sounds a little romantic, and that has always sort of been his thing, for as reluctant as he's been to admit it. ]
I don't mind checking it out tonight. [ Anything but, really, and Steve finds himself trying to clear his plate just a little faster. ] As long as you're up for it. So, park, then your apartment? That sound good?
[ really perfect, actually. nancy takes a well-timed sip of her milkshake as soon as he agrees to making the park detour, and- okay, she's pretty sure he would have said yes even if he was about four seconds from falling asleep on the spot, but still! she's very excited that he wants to go. and she's banking on taking a sip through her straw being enough to hide her doofy smile, but it probably isn't work as well as she hopes.
and maybe their waitress noticed that they're talking less and eating faster, because a moment later she's approaching their table with a check in her hand, and nancy has her student id at the ready, with a couple bills folded behind it. what? she comes here pretty often. any protests from steve are met with a quick shake of her head, and an insistent "nope! too slow. you can get lunch tomorrow, promise."
nance takes the rest of her milkshake to go, happily sipping away as they make their exit, and she reaches for him as soon as they're back outside, fingers wiggling until they're laced up with his again.
it actually doesn't take very long at all to actually get to the park, even considering that she slowed her usual city-walk pace just a bit. it's just- everything's so pretty? they call it magic hour for a reason. by the time they're starting down the familiar cobblestone path to her Favorite Spot, everything is orange and pink and soft and radiant, and as soon as she finishes her shake, she tugs him over to the nearest garbage can so she can toss her empty cup ( because obviously letting go of his hand is not an option ), and immediately tucks her newly freed hand around the bend of his elbow. does it instantly make them look like happily married grandparents going on their usual stroll, instead of a cute college couple enjoying a new city together? maybe!!! but she likes being able to hold onto him this way, and press her nose against his arm whenever she wants to hug him even closer, pretending she's colder than she really is. it's not subtle, but she's not really trying to be.
and to be fair, she thinks the detour was totally worth it. the view from the bench she usually commandeers as her reading spot really does have a great view, somehow situated between two blocks that show off how just city boston really is, but not so cluttered that it feels claustrophobic, and the sun is setting just to the left, with a well-placed building blocking out the harsh brightness while still allowing the warm glow to outweigh the shadows, for now.
sharing this particular view with him feels just as good as she thought it would. he's the first person from home to sit in her favorite spot with her, and it feels- completely natural? while also feeling so damn significant. ]
[ nancy moves easily, still very much in her post-o glow, settling comfortably against him once she feels his hold on her lock into place. there. and she stretches her arm across his middle so she can hold onto him, too. steve might not feel suave anymore, but the way he makes her feel by just being him - special and flustered and giddy and overwhelmed - is eerily similar to how he made her feel back when they first met. it's just- warmer now. warmer? something. back then it was this sort of spark of excitement, a kinetic kind of energy that made her feel buzzy and wild with it. this feels warmer. thrilling, but grounded. not "more real", because the way she fell head over heels for him was very real, even if they were still trying to figure out who the hell they were back then. but this feels different.
maybe eventually she find the right words for it, but for now- ]
With you. I'm happy right now, here, with you. [ she says it almost as quickly as she does when she's correcting someone's grammar, with the same matter-of-fact tone, too. because it really is that simple!! but she hums, thoughtful, because she can't actually read minds or anything, but ] I know it probably seems like- all it took was one really shitty phone call, and suddenly a switch got flipped, or something? But. It's really not all that sudden, because it wasn't really just one phone call. Because- if I'm being really honest with myself? I... wasn't. I wasn't happy. I don't think I've actually been happy for a while now. Which is something that's definitely going to take some time to figure out, but my point - [ she sighs, the sound just shy of huffy, and then she's squirming against him again until she's basically on top of him again, but in a lazy way. with her leg carefully(!!!!!) slotted between his, and her chin on his chest until she gets the energy to lift herself up enough to be able to actually look at him. because talking at his chest just isn't cutting it for this ] My point is that I meant every long-winded, tequila-infused thing I said last night, and every sleepy thing I've said since we woke up. About you, and us, and all of it. It's all true, and it's basically all I've been able to think about for- weeks, at this point. And this is obviously nothing like the way I actually wanted to tell you that, but. Well. That's- kind of how things go for us sometimes, huh? [ she scrunches her nose ] It still feels really good to tell you, though.
[ The conversation dies down in the comfortable sort of way, as they both focus on finishing up so they can get out of here and onto the next thing. It helps that the food is as good as Nancy had promised, and Steve is the sort of hungry that only arises when travel is involved. He's so focused on his food that he almost doesn't notice that Nancy goes to pay. But that stupid, silly, chivalrous alarm bell goes off, and despite all his protests Nancy is having none of it. Steve might just be the slightest touch pouty as he finally relents, mumbling about how he's getting the next one, and the one after that.
The hurt of not being able to pay is quickly soothed by how pleased Nancy looks with herself, and just a little bit by the way her lips wrap around the straw of her milkshake. It shouldn't be as enticing of a sight as he finds it but-- well, he likes it, so sue him.
He's got his suitcase still clutched in one hand while his other finds hers again, feeling the cool press of her palm to his. Their entwined fingers fight against the New England chill. If he's thinking at all about the cold, that thought is swiftly overwritten by the sight of the park, and the feel of her sneaking her freed hand into his arm. He leans a little bit more against her at that, the two of them not so subtly leaned together like collapsing walls. Oh, to collapse into Nancy Wheeler. ]
Is it? [ Steve sounds a little dreamy, as though her words have just roused him from sleep. He's been looking down at her more than he has the park, and he finds he's not too embarrassed by that. ] I mean, yeah, it is. [ Brilliant save by Steve Harrington. ] Feels like I'm looking at a postcard or something.
[ Steve kind of, sort of, definitely, finds himself beaming at the admission that she's happy with him, like this. Yeah, the circumstances that have led to this moment are messy at best but-- so much of their lives have been messy, across the board. He thinks maybe he should allow himself to enjoy the moments that he can, without needing to dissect them down to their core. Whatever happens after this morning, past today, doesn't need to be worried about. Not yet, at least.
So Steve lets himself settle back into the bed, keeping her close as she goes on talking. He smiles a little as she begins to wriggle closer, pressed so close he swears he can hear her heart rate increase as she goes on. If nothing else, Steve remains well practiced at letting her get it all off her chest, remains attentive until she's finished. He takes his time in replying, tilts his head so he can press scattered kisses into her hair. ]
I think I'm a little more patient than I used to be. [ Steve says at last, with a fluttering, self deprecating laugh. ] As far as the screwed up things in our lives go, this might actually be less awful than most. [ He pauses for a moment, reconsidering. ] Not, uh-- I don't mean that-- what Jonathan did was really screwed up, it's just-- [ He groans at the fact that while he might be more patient, he is still not much of a wordsmith. ] I guess I just mean... even if it was fucked up how we got here, I'm glad we are here because-- [ Because he actually might have died of heartbreak if he didn't get one last honest chance. ] Life kind of sucks without you.
[ oh, it turns out nancy is very okay with being the reason why steve's smiling like that, especially because saying these things almost feels like the first few baby steps towards wearing her heart on her sleeve. trying to be more open, and not just honest when she has to tell someone how she truly feels. so glancing up and seeing steve beaming actualy feels pretty incredible. and then he backtracks halfway through his response to it, and she can't help the way it makes her smile, because she had already filled in the "less awful in that it isn't a life-threatening situation" meaning to his "less awful than most", so it hadn't occurred to her to feel all that offended by his choice in words. either way, she gives him a quiet ( and amused ) "mmhmmmm" as she turns her face to smush a kiss to his chest, very much "i getcha, don't worry".
although that last part makes her frown a tiny bit, before she catches herself and tucks her bottom lip between her teeth instead. it's- sweet, she knows he didn't mean it in some devastating way, but still. she distracts herself ( and maybe hopes to distract him ) for a moment by brushing her fingers along his skin again, drawing little figure 8s, sometimes looping around the few moles that she's still so damn charmed by. it's very possible she's only charmed by them because a few of them happen to be near places she likes to kiss him along his neck, but that's! here nor there. ]
Oh, I don't know. You seem to be doing okay. Crawling forward, right? [ two fingertips "walk" along his upper arm to his shoulder, then she tilts her head up so she can give him another kiss, this one landing on his chin. ] Mmn, but really, I think I get it. Especially right now. That there are a lot of good things going on in life, even great things, but there can still be plenty of things that kind of suck, too, running right along side it. It's hard not to focus on those things, sometimes. [ she grins ] I would make an attempt at saying something very eloquent about the two of us finding more good things in life, together, but I've never been great at, um, verbalizing things like that. It might be just a little too cheeseball for me. [ a beat ] You wouldn't happen to have any tips for me, would you..? [ the king cheeseball of hawkins high himself. that was his nickname, right? she's pretty sure. ]
There probably is a postcard with this view. There should be, at least.
[ or maybe she's just biased. either way, that's her truth, and she's sticking to it. but the thought comes and goes fairly quickly, because she didn't miss the shift in his tone, the way it almost sounded like he was dozing off right there on the spot. or maybe he was just ridiculously distracted. or maybe she surprised him by finally speaking up, after their walk over here had been so comfortably quiet. all of the above? maybe. either way, she looks down at their joined hands with a little smile, rubs her thumb against the side of his index finger. an almost dormant sort of muscle memory kicks in, has her seeking out a spot that was always sore from hours of swinging a baseball bat. ..the kind without nails. she frowns when she feels a callus there, because... shouldn't that be healed by now? but no, duh, not with his new job.
it probably just looks like she's fidgeting, might even feel that way to him too, but she's just! being affectionate. in a way that also happens to be helpful, maybe, the same way it used to help when she'd rub slow circles with the pad of her thumb in that spot, way back when. whether it looks like fidgeting or not, it still makes something warm flutter in her chest. ]
I'm really- Oh. [ she actually wasn't expecting him to be watching her, so when she picks her head up to talk to him and nearly bumps his face with her nose, her oh ends up sounding a little silly, startled ] Hi. [ she smiles, tries to will away the blush she can feel along the tops of her cheeks, but no such luck. damnit.] What? [ it sounds more flustered than accusatory, but obviously there has to be a reason why he's looking at her. as if she hadn't just spent a solid two minutes just staring at their hands. whatever. it's a fair question!! ]
Sooo... This is me really, really hoping that you just forgot to text me as soon as you got home, to let me know you got there perfectly safe. Because you are, right? Home? Perfectly safe?
[ 'tis the season for black ice on the roads! and also... maybe she's like.... not totally 100% comfy and confident just assuming there aren't any hivemind monsters still lingering around town. that too. it's been months, but like. you never know!!! ]
[ ugh, his parents. well, his mom was always friendly enough. his dad, however........... rrrgh. ]
Oh. Easy-peasy, right? Considering you are absolutely not a disappointment to anyone.
[ anyone worth your time is the implication, but she doesn't type it out because she doesn't actually want to just talk shit about his dad right now. ... okay, maybe she does. but she's trying not to!! ]
My dad would disagree. Either way, they’re flying back out tomorrow so it doesn’t matter much.
[ That’s not exactly true but…it doesn’t matter. That’s what he tells himself as he stares into the blue glow of his phone. It would be so much easier if it didn’t matter. ]
It matters to me? It definitely matters too me. And that's not something you should have to get used to. Oh, now I really wish I did go with you back to yours. But it's probably for the best that I didn't, because your dad is actually SO damn lucky that I wasn't there. You don't even know. Okay, you might know. But he doesn't.
Anyway, I'm glad you got home safe. Even though I wish I went with you. Or that you stayed here. After you pulled out of the driveway I hopped right back into the same spot on the couch where we were sitting all cozy, but predictably, it totally wasn't the same. And now I'm in bed, texting you. Thrilling, right?
Sorry, I… I know. It’s probably for the best. Though if anyone could take my dad down a peg, it might be you.
[ Steve sighs to himself in his dark, quiet, room in his dark, quiet, house. Even with his parents here for the night it feels as empty as ever, maybe even more so. He misses Nancy under the best of circumstances, but now the feeling stabs deep into his chest. ]
Next time I’ll stay longer. Hell, maybe one of these days I’ll make it permanent.
Oh, I definitely could. But if I ever actually get a chance to, I promise to try my best to not be too mean about it. Really. 😇
[ his last text makes something in her chest swoop, warm and bright. he's always been able to inspire that feeling in her, just by being all steve about something, but she's still getting used to feeling it again. ]
I could always kidnap you? Then you'll have no choice to stay here and snuggle with until we fall asleep and struggle our way through a half-burned stack of pancakes. ... And help me figure out how to get better at flipping pancakes before they burn, that too.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[ in heat ] idk should i try to pick fancy subject titles for this post? sheeeeesh
she miscounted the days, steve picked her up for work, like always, "I just thought I was horny! regular horny, not- you know!" ( yeah, nancy knew ) two hours into their shift, she went into heat. "i don't know, it happened too fast, i really don't know." - "it was like I smacked him across the face, and he couldn't get out of there fast enough." steve left? wow, maybe they... actually were just friends. "capital P, nance!" right. "i'm okay. vicki picked me up, i'm with her now. ... she's such a good friend!." they're definitely fucking. "make sure he got home safe, nancy, please." like she even had to ask.
she calls his house first, gives up after four rings, grabs her keys and drives. she takes her suppressants- pretty regularly? so it should be fine. it's worth the risk. the worst edges of her worry ease up as she parks next to his car at the top of his long driveway, and as always, instead of playing this smart or even y'know, knocking on the door before entering? she dives in headfirst. ]
Steve? It's me, It's Nancy. I- [ oh, wow. his house is genuinely huge, but nancy barely makes it through the front door before she feels it. because it's not just a scent, she can feel it. she can feel him. it's almost intoxicating, overwhelmingly so, makes her feel flush all over, swaying on the spot. but it's also... familiar. and safe. and way more intense than she remembers. something ugly settles hot in her gut when she realizes that it might be this strong because he's already found someone else to help him through this, but she shoves that down to unpack later. fuck. she's moving towards the stairs before she even realizes it, grips the banister once she does, forces herself not to run to where she instinctually knows she'll find him. okay. okay. okay. she steadies herself, calls up the stairs again- ] Robin called me. I just- I need to know that you're okay.
[ spring break in boston ]
but the one thing that's been excruciatingly difficult to bear, and hasn't gotten even a little bit easier over time, is how much she misses steve harrington. like- shit. shit. her mother might have surprised her with a long-distance calling card, but the allotted time is pretty limited, all things considered. she can't actually use up all of her minutes catching up with steve, when her mom worries so much, and she likes being able to catch up with robin, too. plus, it's obviously different, not physically seeing them, verses not physically spending time with steve. like.
really different. hah.
when they decided they wanted to try again, give it another shot as a couple, they agreed that they shouldn't jump into anything officially right before her move to boston, but they were going to stay in touch, for sure. so leaving in the fall wasn't easy, but there was definitely some comfort in knowing she would be back home just a few weeks later for christmas. however, leaving for that second semester was like- a lot. maybe it's because nancy always loved the holidays, and spending most of her break with steve had been really, reallyreallyreally great. baking cookies and drinking cocoa with too many marshmallows and toasty, itchy sweaters and multiple viewings of her favorite christmas movies ( the jack frost claymation, and a chipmunk christmas ) and- all of it. sharing all of that with him again was even better than she could have hoped. and they even somehow, miraculously, managed to keep things ..mostly chaste. mostly. 90%. making out and heavy petting hardly counted as breaking the rules on taking things slow. so with all that said, heading back to boston after was a lot harder than she expected it to be, honestly.
but luckily! she's finally made it to spring break.
which means she's also finally made it to steve's visit to boston. FINALLY. she's been a little goofy with her excitement the whole week, enough that some of her new friends even commented on it, but that's fine. she's not all that concerned about how goofy or dorky or lovestruck she's acting, as one of her more dramatic classmates called it- all she really cares about is finally getting to see him again. and show him around the city! and y'know... whatever other fun stuff they may or may not get up to, that's only made possible with spending time with him in person. heh.
it's a picture-perfect boston spring day - maybe a little brisk, but no worse than indiana could get. the the sun is shining, the sky is a pretty blue, and if steve's flight was running on schedule ( which she knew it was, because she called the airport to check!! ), it landed abooooout a half an hour ago. which means his taxi should be dropping him off at the campus green in- a few minutes, honestly. no... ANY MINUTE NOW. she really tried to play it cool, but by the time 'minutes' became ANY MINUTE NOW, she's starting to very casually
pacemosey around the wide section of sidewalk where she's almost positive the cab will drop him off. and by almost, she means absolutely positive, because she's had mini heart attacks every time someone else was dropped off right in this spot. so. she knows. and now she just- has to wait. she's waiting. very patiently and calmly waiting. because she's resilient! and in this instance, it means--ohholyshitFINALLYit'shimthat'sstevethat'sstevegettingoutofthattaxiit'shimit'shimit'shimit'sHIM!!!!!
it's literally a fucking miracle that she doesn't actually run the few yards between her and his taxi before he's even gotten his bag out of the trunk, but she still only manages to wait right where she is, smile beaming, for half a second before rushing over and basically jumping up into his arms for a hug. oh, although she did wave to the taxi driver first, and even thanked him for getting him there safe. but then she's jumping up and clinging tight and smushing half a dozen kisses to his cheek and his ear and his temple and his jaw, before tucking her face against his neck and then squeezing him even tighter. ]
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It isn't easy, not that he expected it to be. The immediate aftermath had been sort of a daze, all of them like zombies shuffling between tasks in a hope to rebuild, to find a way back to "normal". But once the dust had settled and all the donated clothing had been sorted, the pb&js slapped together, there had to be a way forward. Unsurprisingly, video rentals fell to the bottom of folks' priorities, and Family Video had shuttered its doors. Steve had picked something up in construction, and found he liked the way the job took nearly everything out of him, made him too tired to think of monsters and death.
And then there was the Nancy of it all, the fact that she was going away. Steve thought if anyone deserved to get out of here and start living a real, normal, life, it was her. So maybe that life but a few hundred miles between them, right when things between them were starting to reignite. He wasn't about to stop her, as badly as he wanted that. So Nancy went off to college in Boston, and Steve stayed behind in Hawkins hauling bags of concrete and traipsing across precariously placed metal beams.
They had phone calls, expensive as they were, and letters. Steve felt like his best self came out when it was time to sit down and write a letter to her. Christmas had been a wonderful reprieve from the distance, filled with chances to sneak away and make out, even though they definitely weren't a couple. Not at all. They were just figuring things out, and that was fine. Never mind that he's fairly certain he felt his heart split in two when she went back off to Boston.
But they weren't dating, not really, not officially, so he tried to shove the feeling down.
So maybe he's been counting down the days to her spring break, has long since put in the request to have the time off, to book the plane tickets. They're still just friends, strictly speaking, though he's never felt his stomach turn end over end like this for any friend. He tries to sleep on the plane ride to Boston and fails miserably, his heartbeat unable to settle to any comfortable resting rate.
When he hails a taxi to the Boston commons he thinks he might be able to relax, but everything seems to kick into the highest gear. Months have become days have become hours have become minutes, and all he wants is to wrap her up in the tightest hug he can deliver. And then he's here, and it doesn't feel real anymore. He's stepping out of the cab, suitcase in one hand, and she's right there, waiting for him, throwing herself into his arms. The suitcase falls with a quiet thud against the sidewalk so he can offer both arms out towards her. ]
Na-- [ Her name gets cut short as she showers him in kisses, and Steve can't help but just soak it all in. His arms wrap tightly around her as the taxi drives off, broad and stronger than she might remember. Despite the changes, it feels so familiar, in that sweet, comfortable sort of way. It's moments like these that make him wonder why they've tried to wait at all. ] Hey.
[ Steve laughs a little, curls his arms around her so he can dip her towards the ground, press a hungry kiss to her lips. They're supposed to just be friends, technically, but he's choosing to ignore that. ]
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by the time she's caught her footing again, then slooowly brings herself properly upright out of the crazy cute way he dipped her, she realizes that the idea of one kiss being able to sate everything she's feeling right now is total bullshit. but she can try? they can try. they should try. probably. right? she almost manages to sneak in a quiet- ] Hi. [ -against his lips before they've actually stopped kissing, but it comes out as a muffled hhhm that just makes her laugh ] Hi. [ her hand slides down to settle against his chest, starts to fuss with the zipper pull of his jacket almost immediately. she has too much energy, like the anticipation of him getting here still hasn't worn off, somehow. ] I missed you. [ did she just lightly push against his chest as she said that, like she actually might be miffed at him for it? maybe. ]
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I missed you too.
[ Steve says once his mental faculties begin to collect themselves. There's a reason they've been trying to do this the "right" way, and he needs to at least try and stick to that. So he straightens up, ignores the heat in his cheeks and just coils his arms around her in a tight hug. He lets his cheek rest against the top of her head, breathes in the smell of her shampoo. ]
Should we... [ His sentence is rudely interrupted by the growling of his stomach. ] Wanna get food somewhere? I'm kind of starving.
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Fuck, this was so bad. So stupid. Steve has done a lot of things stupid in his life, but this was next level, truly an award winning "You have fucked up so bad" moment. The slap had honestly been good for him, had brought him back to his senses, enough so that he could turn heel and practically sprint away, throw himself into his car and get back home. Now all he had to do was pretend it never happened, and maybe, hopefully, also pass away in his bed and never be heard from again.
Then there's the sound of the front door being thrown open, and he immediately knows who it is. There's only one person who would so boldly traipse into his space right now. The moment she crosses the threshold of the front door he can smell her, feel her, and oh fuck, she shouldn't be here right now. ]
I'm fine! [ Steve calls out from the second floor, even as he braces himself against the doorway to is bedroom, hot and panting and a little too eager to go racing down the stairs towards her. ] Tell Robin I'm sorry and I'm just fine! Nothing to worry about!
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[ and at first she can't get rid of the idea that he has someone up there with him already, and she knows that letting something like jealousy take a hold on her for even a little while will just turn her scent into something bolder, like some... animalistic version of wearing a skirt she knows he'll like to steal his attention back, after she noticed him watching someone else. it's so weird. and it's definitely not idea for keeping her cool right now, or helping him keep his. so she forces herself to breathe, focus. ... focus on something other than how good he smells like this.
if someone else was already here, she would definitely be able to smell them. right. yeah. especially now that she's climbed a few more of those steps, putting her about halfway up. woops.
and of course, in general, nancy always wants to help people, especially the people close to her. so she can't help but connect the dots, that if he was fully triggered by robin's heat, but nobody else is here with him to help him through it, then he's really not fine, and he needs- well. he needs. and despite the way she's still very much aware of everything going on, sharp and clear, now the only thing she feels in her gut is he needs me. and like, she's never bought into the bullshit that sometimes people are just inherently more dominant, or more submissive, and that their heat reflects as much in the way it effects others- but holy shit, she feels like she's five seconds away from begging him to let her be the one to help him. ]
I know you're not. I can feel it, you're - [ she whines, and the sound gets out before she manages to press her lips shut tight. she pulls in a deep breath, trying to clear her head, but it honestly only makes it worse. she groans this time, knuckles turning white from how tight she's holding onto the banister ] Shit, you still smell so fucking good. But I know what that means, I know how bad you need it. Please, just tell me- Tell me to come upstairs, say it's okay. Let me help you, please- [ eh it was more like seven seconds, but she's still begging. damn. ]
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It's really not fair, when she's creeping closer to him, when she lets out that little whine like she needs him. Because his heat aside, he-- has a lot of complicated feelings about Nancy Wheeler, and doesn't want now to be the time when they all come to a head. ]
Really, I'm alright!
[ He calls out even when that's blatantly untrue, even when he wants to beckon her up to his bedroom. He's actually gritting his teeth, forcing himself to take a few steps back, trying to land on his bed and maybe, what, sleep? But as soon as he's taken a few steps away, he erases them with several steps forward, through the door and out into the hallway. ]
But I guess if you-- if you need to, you can up here and make sure. Just take a look and then head out.
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holly has a solo in one of the songs that the second graders are singing as part of their spring concert, and it's only six lines long, but she's been practicing every day, and nancy won't be back in hawkins in time to see it. and once a week, the house gets invaded by rowdy teenagers because somehow the wheeler house became the meeting place for d&d session again, but karen says she doesn't mind it, because she's just glad mike and the boys are ready to play again at all. mike still can't talk about what happened to eddie, or why hellfire had to disband at all, without getting angry about it, but with eddie finally back on his feet, they've all been able to feel better about playing again. robin writes letters the same way she tells stories and explains her ideas - three pages long and at least five side-notes on each. but nancy can actually hear it in her voice, so she ignores the part of her brain that wants to edit it all down and powers through every run-on sentence.
it's a little like torture when she stacks them all up, but she has to do it, because maybe she doesn't necessarily miss living in hawkins, but she knows how fast things can change, and the thought of falling behind on the lives of the people she loves is much worse.
and having steve here in boston with her now has made it very clear to her, very quickly, that she's felt a lot lonelier than she realized, too. she's made new friends, she's engaged in the student life, she's been making an effort. this has been her dream since the minute karen explained to her that she can actually go to school to learn how to be a journalist, so she definitely hasn't let her homesickness get in the way of experiencing absolutely every part of it. but up until right now, she hadn't realized how she's almost felt- isolated? like this dream life in boston doesn't actually exist in the same reality as her life in hawkins. the only real overlap so far has been the two mortifying times she woke up from a nightmare screaming, when the girl who lived across the hall banged on her door until she let her in. nancy confessed that she has pretty bad nightmares sometimes ( understatement ), and her new friend tried her best to reassure her by emphasizing that she just had to remind herself that it wasn't real, but just a bad dream. except... it was real? but she couldn't tell her that, so. yeah. isolating.
so nancy presses her face to his chest and holds onto him just as tight, doesn't move until she hears his stomach complain ] Oh, noohoho. [ she half smiles, half pouts as she picks up her head, her hand moving to settle over his stomach for a second, but then she nodnodnods ] Yeah, of course we can. There's about a dozen options around this whole area, and four of my favorites are actually down- [ she points ] that street, which is where we need to go to get to my apartment anyway. [ a beat, but then she's squeezing his arm, where at some point her hand moved to hold onto him, just above his elbow ] Oh! I know exactly where I want to take you. Bartley's, it's perfect. They've got burgers, sandwiches, milkshakes, bottomless crinkle fries - [ their favorite ] - and! I get a student discount there. [ she bends to grab his dropped suitcase, holding it up for him to take ] Sound good?
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Most of all he's glad to just be with her, doesn't mind the distance despite the fact that he hates it. Because he wants to be there when she has those nightmares, when she's feeling lonely. He's glad that she's chasing after her dreams, even when it takes her so far from him. From their home, for better or for worse. ]
That sounds great.
[ She could have suggested anything, the most run down place in all of Boston, and that would have been alright. Steve smiles as he reaches to take his suitcase from her, leans close to press a kiss to her cheek. They make the short walk to Bartley's hand in hand, trading sweet small talk back and forth. Just catching up, talking about the little things. How she's got a professor that always sneezes, about how his foreman has the biggest mustache he's ever seen.
Before he knows it they're seated at a little table, with burgers and onion rings and bottomless crinkle fries laid out between them. Steve stretches out his legs beneath the table, lets his ankles lock with hers. He just wants to keep touching her, okay? Nothing wrong with that. ]
So, how's the big city treating you? [ He asks as he swirls a fry through a mound of ketchup. ] Bet you can barely remember small town life by now.
[ That would really be for the best, wouldn't it? ]
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nancy wasn't intentionally holding her breath, but the relief that comes after he tells her to come up ( along with other, less important stuff ) leaves her in a rush, makes her exhale sharply before she hops up the last few steps. and it's bad - like, really bad - how easily she's getting caught up in her instincts, not-so-slowly letting her brain sink into that place where all she's capable of mentally processing is the uncomplicated balance of want, need, give, and take. luckily, it doesn't hit her all at once, but that's only because they've been making a pretty conscious effort to avoid putting themselves in a situation... basically just like the one they're in right now?? and some part of her remembers that.
there are some things about having steve back in her life that are simple to navigate to - he's a really good guy, and he's honest, makes her laugh, humors her when she feels the need to info dump to him about something he probably doesn't care about. and he gives a shit about the same people that she gives a shit about. but their history is- complex, while also somehow being pretty straight forward. they were both really different back then, but that doesn't mean how things played out is null and void. there are things to consider, and conversations that prrrrobably should have been continued by now, but they're both just very good at floating around in that sort of in-between. or, well, nancy is. and she's also a jerk for letting steve let her keep avoiding any situation that might leave her feeling vulnerable. so yeah, complicated.
but what isn't complicated is that seeing him like this, wrecked and a million percent for sure on the brink of his heat, hits her hard, both physically and emotionally. it's not complicated to realize how her need to help gets all perved up pretty much immediately, twisted up with all the ways she wants him, and has wanted him. she jumped into lover's lake to follow him without a second thought, and shit, jumping into bed with him would way more fun than that.
he's right there, so she doesn't stop at the top of the steps, and she's already reaching to slip the first few buttons on her shirt free before she realizes she's doing it. she forces them down to her sides with a guilty shake of her head, twists her fingers in the loose fabric of her skirt instead. she manages to stop when there's still some space between them, but she's rocking forward on the balls of her feet, fighting against her instincts. ]
Steve. [ more pleading, her toes curling up in her sneakers with the rush of arousal she gets hit with, and she isn't at the point where her clothes against her skin feels like torture, but she's definitely getting there ] It's okay. We'll be okay, I promise, just- [ because she's still aware enough to know that he's worried about that, that it was probably the only thing that was keeping him from rushing into this. she's a little breathless, despite just... standing there, but she tries to level herself out ] I- I really get it, okay, I do, it's why I've been trying not to kiss you since- way before today, because I know. But there's no way I'm leaving you like this, I won't, and I - nh - I need you, too. I want you, too.
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but that's all a little too heady to contemplate the meaning of when she's sipping her cherry milkshake and slowly pointing and flexing her feet between his, just to be annoying.
and she's wondering if he's been nudging the smaller fries with the crispy edges to the side of their basket intentionally, because he knows she likes those the best, or if it's just a happy coincidence. ]
It's actually treating me a lot nicer than I thought it would, to be honest. It took a little while to get used to it - everything is a lot closer, and louder, and faster than things are back home - but I think I've finally found my stride, yeah. [ she pauses to pluck up the exact fry that steve was clearly about to reach for, and then even steals a dab of ketchup from his side, too. ] Mm, I don't think I've forgotten anything, but if I did, I'll just follow your lead. [ she grins, but then shakes her head ] Nah, I'm pretty sure I haven't forgotten anything about Hawkins. I think about you guys all the time. Possibly too much, considering how much time I spend imagining all the things I'm missing out on while I'm here. [ ... meh but that's a downer, isn't it? so she puts on a dreamy expression, even sighs and leans to put her chin in her hand ] All those missed opportunities to visit you at work just to say hi and blatantly check you out. Tragic.
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That's great, Nancy. [ If she has to be so far away, she should at least be enjoying her time, finding her niche, her stride. Though he still isn't especially enthused about the fact that he needs to hop on an airplane to see her, but if she's happy here, he can cope. ] You're kind of missing out, actually.
[ He gives her a little grin across the table as his fingers toy nervously at his napkin, betraying the confidence that he's trying to display. At least he can be somewhat sure this is true, because construction work means he's a little more toned and tanned than she's previously seen him. And yeah, maybe he does look good when he's hauling around construction materials. ]
I can try and replicate the experience for you while I'm here, if you want.
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although it makes her eyes widen at first, because she's still caught up on missing out on everything that she doesn't realize he's only talking about the last part she added. not until he smiles like that, and her eyes nearly light up. it's partly because the topic is pulling her out of her slight downswing, but if he takes it solely as a sign of her enthusiasm for a recreation, she's not about to specify. ]
Oh, yeah? [ the corner of her mouth quirks up, and her feet stop fussing between his in favor of just rubbing the toe of her shoe against the heel of his, because yeah, she's definitely flirting now. it's hard not to. this feels more and more like a date as the minutes tick by, and maybe her gut should be telling her to pump the breaks to talk about that, but all it has to offer is a small swarm of butterflies fluttering about. she does notice his little tell, the way the corner of his napkin might be worn thin if he keeps it up, but it's a peripheral observation. her eyes are too busy giving him an exaggerated once-over of the view she has of him from the table, up. ] I don't even have a toolbox at my apartment, but we'll have to figure something out, because there's no way I'm letting the good city of Boston get a peek of you like that before I do. [ a beat ] Plus, I'd really rather not risk the chance of any of my classmates witnessing the way it's almost certainly going to make me lose my shit. I'd like to at least try and preserve a little of my dignity, out in public.
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Well, don't worry about that. [ Steve's laugh is bashful and boyish. There have definitely been changes to his body since they've last seen each other, but he only feels aware of them now. His body suddenly feels a little larger, a little more muscular, all because he's now being seen through Nancy's gaze. ] Put a shirt on me and I'm not much different than your average joe.
[ And that's sort of the point, he thinks. To just be normal and unassuming, to just blend in. Nancy just has a way of making him feel special, feel seen. That feeling is easy to lean in to right now, fills him with what is surely a false bravado. ]
Let's finish eating first, hm? Then you can lose your shirt.
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she just? doesn't. understand. how he doesn't? understand?
hm. but. well. okay. okay, yeah. she's not about to argue it, at least not right now. later maybe, yes. later definitely, actually. ]
Yeah, alright. [ she looks down at her burger, as if that could really hide her holy-shit-i-have-the-biggest-crush-on-him smile when he's sitting across from her at a table that just fits their shared food, but like! an attempt's been made. but then she's peeking up at him again from through her lashes ( and her somewhat grown-out bangs ), and it's game over anyway. her smile goes all out, and it's enough to make her laugh, shake her head. she takes a bite of her burger, just to force herself to stop being an idiot ] Mmh- Oh. So, I know you're probably completely exhausted from your flight, and we can go back to mine soon, I promise, but there's this park that's only a couple blocks over that I totally love, it's probably my favorite spot in the whole city, so I want to show you. [ a beat ] -- But I mean, we can always go tomorrow if you need some time to relax first. Seriously. Because it's really pretty at sundown, too? But it.. gets kind of cold. So. [ another beat ] I know it's sort of cheesy, it's just a park, but - [ it means a lot to me and you mean a lot to me so being there with you sounds really fucking perfect ] - Yeah. I've already added it to our to-do list.
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But as it stands, he's not feeling too terribly tired. The food and the milkshake have lent some of his strength back to him, and he doesn't think he'll mind a walk over to the park she's speaking about. Especially because, well, it sounds a little romantic, and that has always sort of been his thing, for as reluctant as he's been to admit it. ]
I don't mind checking it out tonight. [ Anything but, really, and Steve finds himself trying to clear his plate just a little faster. ] As long as you're up for it. So, park, then your apartment? That sound good?
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[ really perfect, actually. nancy takes a well-timed sip of her milkshake as soon as he agrees to making the park detour, and- okay, she's pretty sure he would have said yes even if he was about four seconds from falling asleep on the spot, but still! she's very excited that he wants to go. and she's banking on taking a sip through her straw being enough to hide her doofy smile, but it probably isn't work as well as she hopes.
and maybe their waitress noticed that they're talking less and eating faster, because a moment later she's approaching their table with a check in her hand, and nancy has her student id at the ready, with a couple bills folded behind it. what? she comes here pretty often. any protests from steve are met with a quick shake of her head, and an insistent "nope! too slow. you can get lunch tomorrow, promise."
nance takes the rest of her milkshake to go, happily sipping away as they make their exit, and she reaches for him as soon as they're back outside, fingers wiggling until they're laced up with his again.
it actually doesn't take very long at all to actually get to the park, even considering that she slowed her usual city-walk pace just a bit. it's just- everything's so pretty? they call it magic hour for a reason. by the time they're starting down the familiar cobblestone path to her Favorite Spot, everything is orange and pink and soft and radiant, and as soon as she finishes her shake, she tugs him over to the nearest garbage can so she can toss her empty cup ( because obviously letting go of his hand is not an option ), and immediately tucks her newly freed hand around the bend of his elbow. does it instantly make them look like happily married grandparents going on their usual stroll, instead of a cute college couple enjoying a new city together? maybe!!! but she likes being able to hold onto him this way, and press her nose against his arm whenever she wants to hug him even closer, pretending she's colder than she really is. it's not subtle, but she's not really trying to be.
and to be fair, she thinks the detour was totally worth it. the view from the bench she usually commandeers as her reading spot really does have a great view, somehow situated between two blocks that show off how just city boston really is, but not so cluttered that it feels claustrophobic, and the sun is setting just to the left, with a well-placed building blocking out the harsh brightness while still allowing the warm glow to outweigh the shadows, for now.
sharing this particular view with him feels just as good as she thought it would. he's the first person from home to sit in her favorite spot with her, and it feels- completely natural? while also feeling so damn significant. ]
It's pretty, right?
[ in which jonathan's a dirty fuckin cheater ]
[ nancy moves easily, still very much in her post-o glow, settling comfortably against him once she feels his hold on her lock into place. there. and she stretches her arm across his middle so she can hold onto him, too. steve might not feel suave anymore, but the way he makes her feel by just being him - special and flustered and giddy and overwhelmed - is eerily similar to how he made her feel back when they first met. it's just- warmer now. warmer? something. back then it was this sort of spark of excitement, a kinetic kind of energy that made her feel buzzy and wild with it. this feels warmer. thrilling, but grounded. not "more real", because the way she fell head over heels for him was very real, even if they were still trying to figure out who the hell they were back then. but this feels different.
maybe eventually she find the right words for it, but for now- ]
With you. I'm happy right now, here, with you. [ she says it almost as quickly as she does when she's correcting someone's grammar, with the same matter-of-fact tone, too. because it really is that simple!! but she hums, thoughtful, because she can't actually read minds or anything, but ] I know it probably seems like- all it took was one really shitty phone call, and suddenly a switch got flipped, or something? But. It's really not all that sudden, because it wasn't really just one phone call. Because- if I'm being really honest with myself? I... wasn't. I wasn't happy. I don't think I've actually been happy for a while now. Which is something that's definitely going to take some time to figure out, but my point - [ she sighs, the sound just shy of huffy, and then she's squirming against him again until she's basically on top of him again, but in a lazy way. with her leg carefully(!!!!!) slotted between his, and her chin on his chest until she gets the energy to lift herself up enough to be able to actually look at him. because talking at his chest just isn't cutting it for this ] My point is that I meant every long-winded, tequila-infused thing I said last night, and every sleepy thing I've said since we woke up. About you, and us, and all of it. It's all true, and it's basically all I've been able to think about for- weeks, at this point. And this is obviously nothing like the way I actually wanted to tell you that, but. Well. That's- kind of how things go for us sometimes, huh? [ she scrunches her nose ] It still feels really good to tell you, though.
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The hurt of not being able to pay is quickly soothed by how pleased Nancy looks with herself, and just a little bit by the way her lips wrap around the straw of her milkshake. It shouldn't be as enticing of a sight as he finds it but-- well, he likes it, so sue him.
He's got his suitcase still clutched in one hand while his other finds hers again, feeling the cool press of her palm to his. Their entwined fingers fight against the New England chill. If he's thinking at all about the cold, that thought is swiftly overwritten by the sight of the park, and the feel of her sneaking her freed hand into his arm. He leans a little bit more against her at that, the two of them not so subtly leaned together like collapsing walls. Oh, to collapse into Nancy Wheeler. ]
Is it? [ Steve sounds a little dreamy, as though her words have just roused him from sleep. He's been looking down at her more than he has the park, and he finds he's not too embarrassed by that. ] I mean, yeah, it is. [ Brilliant save by Steve Harrington. ] Feels like I'm looking at a postcard or something.
[ How poetic. ]
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So Steve lets himself settle back into the bed, keeping her close as she goes on talking. He smiles a little as she begins to wriggle closer, pressed so close he swears he can hear her heart rate increase as she goes on. If nothing else, Steve remains well practiced at letting her get it all off her chest, remains attentive until she's finished. He takes his time in replying, tilts his head so he can press scattered kisses into her hair. ]
I think I'm a little more patient than I used to be. [ Steve says at last, with a fluttering, self deprecating laugh. ] As far as the screwed up things in our lives go, this might actually be less awful than most. [ He pauses for a moment, reconsidering. ] Not, uh-- I don't mean that-- what Jonathan did was really screwed up, it's just-- [ He groans at the fact that while he might be more patient, he is still not much of a wordsmith. ] I guess I just mean... even if it was fucked up how we got here, I'm glad we are here because-- [ Because he actually might have died of heartbreak if he didn't get one last honest chance. ] Life kind of sucks without you.
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although that last part makes her frown a tiny bit, before she catches herself and tucks her bottom lip between her teeth instead. it's- sweet, she knows he didn't mean it in some devastating way, but still. she distracts herself ( and maybe hopes to distract him ) for a moment by brushing her fingers along his skin again, drawing little figure 8s, sometimes looping around the few moles that she's still so damn charmed by. it's very possible she's only charmed by them because a few of them happen to be near places she likes to kiss him along his neck, but that's! here nor there. ]
Oh, I don't know. You seem to be doing okay. Crawling forward, right? [ two fingertips "walk" along his upper arm to his shoulder, then she tilts her head up so she can give him another kiss, this one landing on his chin. ] Mmn, but really, I think I get it. Especially right now. That there are a lot of good things going on in life, even great things, but there can still be plenty of things that kind of suck, too, running right along side it. It's hard not to focus on those things, sometimes. [ she grins ] I would make an attempt at saying something very eloquent about the two of us finding more good things in life, together, but I've never been great at, um, verbalizing things like that. It might be just a little too cheeseball for me. [ a beat ] You wouldn't happen to have any tips for me, would you..? [ the king cheeseball of hawkins high himself. that was his nickname, right? she's pretty sure. ]
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[ or maybe she's just biased. either way, that's her truth, and she's sticking to it. but the thought comes and goes fairly quickly, because she didn't miss the shift in his tone, the way it almost sounded like he was dozing off right there on the spot. or maybe he was just ridiculously distracted. or maybe she surprised him by finally speaking up, after their walk over here had been so comfortably quiet. all of the above? maybe. either way, she looks down at their joined hands with a little smile, rubs her thumb against the side of his index finger. an almost dormant sort of muscle memory kicks in, has her seeking out a spot that was always sore from hours of swinging a baseball bat. ..the kind without nails. she frowns when she feels a callus there, because... shouldn't that be healed by now? but no, duh, not with his new job.
it probably just looks like she's fidgeting, might even feel that way to him too, but she's just! being affectionate. in a way that also happens to be helpful, maybe, the same way it used to help when she'd rub slow circles with the pad of her thumb in that spot, way back when. whether it looks like fidgeting or not, it still makes something warm flutter in her chest. ]
I'm really- Oh. [ she actually wasn't expecting him to be watching her, so when she picks her head up to talk to him and nearly bumps his face with her nose, her oh ends up sounding a little silly, startled ] Hi. [ she smiles, tries to will away the blush she can feel along the tops of her cheeks, but no such luck. damnit.] What? [ it sounds more flustered than accusatory, but obviously there has to be a reason why he's looking at her. as if she hadn't just spent a solid two minutes just staring at their hands. whatever. it's a fair question!! ]
[ christmas break texting!! ]
Because you are, right? Home? Perfectly safe?
[ 'tis the season for black ice on the roads! and also... maybe she's like.... not totally 100% comfy and confident just assuming there aren't any hivemind monsters still lingering around town. that too. it's been months, but like. you never know!!! ]
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Oh. Easy-peasy, right? Considering you are absolutely not a disappointment to anyone.
[ anyone worth your time is the implication, but she doesn't type it out because she doesn't actually want to just talk shit about his dad right now. ... okay, maybe she does. but she's trying not to!! ]
You okay?
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Either way, they’re flying back out tomorrow so it doesn’t matter much.
[ That’s not exactly true but…it doesn’t matter. That’s what he tells himself as he stares into the blue glow of his phone. It would be so much easier if it didn’t matter. ]
I’m alright. You get used to it after a while.
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And that's not something you should have to get used to.
Oh, now I really wish I did go with you back to yours. But it's probably for the best that I didn't, because your dad is actually
SO damn lucky that I wasn't there.
You don't even know.
Okay, you might know.
But he doesn't.
[ this is literally nancy rn ]
Anyway, I'm glad you got home safe. Even though I wish I went with you.
Or that you stayed here.
After you pulled out of the driveway I hopped right back into the same spot on the couch where we were sitting all cozy, but predictably, it totally wasn't the same.
And now I'm in bed, texting you.
Thrilling, right?
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It’s probably for the best.
Though if anyone could take my dad down a peg, it might be you.
[ Steve sighs to himself in his dark, quiet, room in his dark, quiet, house. Even with his parents here for the night it feels as empty as ever, maybe even more so. He misses Nancy under the best of circumstances, but now the feeling stabs deep into his chest. ]
Next time I’ll stay longer.
Hell, maybe one of these days I’ll make it permanent.
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But if I ever actually get a chance to, I promise to try my best to not be too mean about it. Really. 😇
[ his last text makes something in her chest swoop, warm and bright. he's always been able to inspire that feeling in her, just by being all steve about something, but she's still getting used to feeling it again. ]
I could always kidnap you? Then you'll have no choice to stay here and snuggle with until we fall asleep and struggle our way through a half-burned stack of pancakes.
... And help me figure out how to get better at flipping pancakes before they burn, that too.