[ nancy moves easily, still very much in her post-o glow, settling comfortably against him once she feels his hold on her lock into place. there. and she stretches her arm across his middle so she can hold onto him, too. steve might not feel suave anymore, but the way he makes her feel by just being him - special and flustered and giddy and overwhelmed - is eerily similar to how he made her feel back when they first met. it's just- warmer now. warmer? something. back then it was this sort of spark of excitement, a kinetic kind of energy that made her feel buzzy and wild with it. this feels warmer. thrilling, but grounded. not "more real", because the way she fell head over heels for him was very real, even if they were still trying to figure out who the hell they were back then. but this feels different.
maybe eventually she find the right words for it, but for now- ]
With you. I'm happy right now, here, with you. [ she says it almost as quickly as she does when she's correcting someone's grammar, with the same matter-of-fact tone, too. because it really is that simple!! but she hums, thoughtful, because she can't actually read minds or anything, but ] I know it probably seems like- all it took was one really shitty phone call, and suddenly a switch got flipped, or something? But. It's really not all that sudden, because it wasn't really just one phone call. Because- if I'm being really honest with myself? I... wasn't. I wasn't happy. I don't think I've actually been happy for a while now. Which is something that's definitely going to take some time to figure out, but my point - [ she sighs, the sound just shy of huffy, and then she's squirming against him again until she's basically on top of him again, but in a lazy way. with her leg carefully(!!!!!) slotted between his, and her chin on his chest until she gets the energy to lift herself up enough to be able to actually look at him. because talking at his chest just isn't cutting it for this ] My point is that I meant every long-winded, tequila-infused thing I said last night, and every sleepy thing I've said since we woke up. About you, and us, and all of it. It's all true, and it's basically all I've been able to think about for- weeks, at this point. And this is obviously nothing like the way I actually wanted to tell you that, but. Well. That's- kind of how things go for us sometimes, huh? [ she scrunches her nose ] It still feels really good to tell you, though.
[ Steve kind of, sort of, definitely, finds himself beaming at the admission that she's happy with him, like this. Yeah, the circumstances that have led to this moment are messy at best but-- so much of their lives have been messy, across the board. He thinks maybe he should allow himself to enjoy the moments that he can, without needing to dissect them down to their core. Whatever happens after this morning, past today, doesn't need to be worried about. Not yet, at least.
So Steve lets himself settle back into the bed, keeping her close as she goes on talking. He smiles a little as she begins to wriggle closer, pressed so close he swears he can hear her heart rate increase as she goes on. If nothing else, Steve remains well practiced at letting her get it all off her chest, remains attentive until she's finished. He takes his time in replying, tilts his head so he can press scattered kisses into her hair. ]
I think I'm a little more patient than I used to be. [ Steve says at last, with a fluttering, self deprecating laugh. ] As far as the screwed up things in our lives go, this might actually be less awful than most. [ He pauses for a moment, reconsidering. ] Not, uh-- I don't mean that-- what Jonathan did was really screwed up, it's just-- [ He groans at the fact that while he might be more patient, he is still not much of a wordsmith. ] I guess I just mean... even if it was fucked up how we got here, I'm glad we are here because-- [ Because he actually might have died of heartbreak if he didn't get one last honest chance. ] Life kind of sucks without you.
[ oh, it turns out nancy is very okay with being the reason why steve's smiling like that, especially because saying these things almost feels like the first few baby steps towards wearing her heart on her sleeve. trying to be more open, and not just honest when she has to tell someone how she truly feels. so glancing up and seeing steve beaming actualy feels pretty incredible. and then he backtracks halfway through his response to it, and she can't help the way it makes her smile, because she had already filled in the "less awful in that it isn't a life-threatening situation" meaning to his "less awful than most", so it hadn't occurred to her to feel all that offended by his choice in words. either way, she gives him a quiet ( and amused ) "mmhmmmm" as she turns her face to smush a kiss to his chest, very much "i getcha, don't worry".
although that last part makes her frown a tiny bit, before she catches herself and tucks her bottom lip between her teeth instead. it's- sweet, she knows he didn't mean it in some devastating way, but still. she distracts herself ( and maybe hopes to distract him ) for a moment by brushing her fingers along his skin again, drawing little figure 8s, sometimes looping around the few moles that she's still so damn charmed by. it's very possible she's only charmed by them because a few of them happen to be near places she likes to kiss him along his neck, but that's! here nor there. ]
Oh, I don't know. You seem to be doing okay. Crawling forward, right? [ two fingertips "walk" along his upper arm to his shoulder, then she tilts her head up so she can give him another kiss, this one landing on his chin. ] Mmn, but really, I think I get it. Especially right now. That there are a lot of good things going on in life, even great things, but there can still be plenty of things that kind of suck, too, running right along side it. It's hard not to focus on those things, sometimes. [ she grins ] I would make an attempt at saying something very eloquent about the two of us finding more good things in life, together, but I've never been great at, um, verbalizing things like that. It might be just a little too cheeseball for me. [ a beat ] You wouldn't happen to have any tips for me, would you..? [ the king cheeseball of hawkins high himself. that was his nickname, right? she's pretty sure. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[ in which jonathan's a dirty fuckin cheater ]
[ nancy moves easily, still very much in her post-o glow, settling comfortably against him once she feels his hold on her lock into place. there. and she stretches her arm across his middle so she can hold onto him, too. steve might not feel suave anymore, but the way he makes her feel by just being him - special and flustered and giddy and overwhelmed - is eerily similar to how he made her feel back when they first met. it's just- warmer now. warmer? something. back then it was this sort of spark of excitement, a kinetic kind of energy that made her feel buzzy and wild with it. this feels warmer. thrilling, but grounded. not "more real", because the way she fell head over heels for him was very real, even if they were still trying to figure out who the hell they were back then. but this feels different.
maybe eventually she find the right words for it, but for now- ]
With you. I'm happy right now, here, with you. [ she says it almost as quickly as she does when she's correcting someone's grammar, with the same matter-of-fact tone, too. because it really is that simple!! but she hums, thoughtful, because she can't actually read minds or anything, but ] I know it probably seems like- all it took was one really shitty phone call, and suddenly a switch got flipped, or something? But. It's really not all that sudden, because it wasn't really just one phone call. Because- if I'm being really honest with myself? I... wasn't. I wasn't happy. I don't think I've actually been happy for a while now. Which is something that's definitely going to take some time to figure out, but my point - [ she sighs, the sound just shy of huffy, and then she's squirming against him again until she's basically on top of him again, but in a lazy way. with her leg carefully(!!!!!) slotted between his, and her chin on his chest until she gets the energy to lift herself up enough to be able to actually look at him. because talking at his chest just isn't cutting it for this ] My point is that I meant every long-winded, tequila-infused thing I said last night, and every sleepy thing I've said since we woke up. About you, and us, and all of it. It's all true, and it's basically all I've been able to think about for- weeks, at this point. And this is obviously nothing like the way I actually wanted to tell you that, but. Well. That's- kind of how things go for us sometimes, huh? [ she scrunches her nose ] It still feels really good to tell you, though.
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So Steve lets himself settle back into the bed, keeping her close as she goes on talking. He smiles a little as she begins to wriggle closer, pressed so close he swears he can hear her heart rate increase as she goes on. If nothing else, Steve remains well practiced at letting her get it all off her chest, remains attentive until she's finished. He takes his time in replying, tilts his head so he can press scattered kisses into her hair. ]
I think I'm a little more patient than I used to be. [ Steve says at last, with a fluttering, self deprecating laugh. ] As far as the screwed up things in our lives go, this might actually be less awful than most. [ He pauses for a moment, reconsidering. ] Not, uh-- I don't mean that-- what Jonathan did was really screwed up, it's just-- [ He groans at the fact that while he might be more patient, he is still not much of a wordsmith. ] I guess I just mean... even if it was fucked up how we got here, I'm glad we are here because-- [ Because he actually might have died of heartbreak if he didn't get one last honest chance. ] Life kind of sucks without you.
no subject
although that last part makes her frown a tiny bit, before she catches herself and tucks her bottom lip between her teeth instead. it's- sweet, she knows he didn't mean it in some devastating way, but still. she distracts herself ( and maybe hopes to distract him ) for a moment by brushing her fingers along his skin again, drawing little figure 8s, sometimes looping around the few moles that she's still so damn charmed by. it's very possible she's only charmed by them because a few of them happen to be near places she likes to kiss him along his neck, but that's! here nor there. ]
Oh, I don't know. You seem to be doing okay. Crawling forward, right? [ two fingertips "walk" along his upper arm to his shoulder, then she tilts her head up so she can give him another kiss, this one landing on his chin. ] Mmn, but really, I think I get it. Especially right now. That there are a lot of good things going on in life, even great things, but there can still be plenty of things that kind of suck, too, running right along side it. It's hard not to focus on those things, sometimes. [ she grins ] I would make an attempt at saying something very eloquent about the two of us finding more good things in life, together, but I've never been great at, um, verbalizing things like that. It might be just a little too cheeseball for me. [ a beat ] You wouldn't happen to have any tips for me, would you..? [ the king cheeseball of hawkins high himself. that was his nickname, right? she's pretty sure. ]