[ when she's feeling a little less jumbled up! because this is so not how she wanted to tell him about jonathan. and she doesn't actually know how she would have wanted to? but "not like this" is a safe guess. ugh. ]
[ ... she really shouldn't just leave it there. she wants to! but she knows she shouldn't. so she won't. ..probably. no, definitely-! ]
Because I just knew you would worry, because the last time I got really drunk was at that stupid party my Junior year, but this isn't like that at all. This was messy, and embarrassing, and meaningless. Less than meaningless, if that's even possible. And I didn't want you to think I don't know anything, basically? Because I didn't want you to know.
There has been something nipping at the back of his mind since this conversation started. A lingering guilt that's built up tight within his stomach. ]
Does any of this have anything to do with what happened a few nights ago?
Oh. No! No, no, no. It's really not. I promise. It doesn't have anything to do with that. Not in the way you probably think it does, at least?
It's just I really didn't want you to worry about me, that's most of it, but I also didn't want you to think I went to that party looking for someone to hook up with, or something. Because I didn't. I'm not.
You really can't think of a single reason why I would want to make sure that you know I'm not looking for you know for a rebound, or anything like that?
Because I didn't, and I'm not, and I won't. I'm not going to do that to you. I don't regret texting you like that. But I also don't regret going to that party, or having a few drinks. All of those things can be true at the same time. But I wouldn't blame you for not believing that? So that's why didn't want you to know.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'll talk to you later, I guess.
[ when she's feeling a little less jumbled up! because this is so not how she wanted to tell him about jonathan. and she doesn't actually know how she would have wanted to? but "not like this" is a safe guess. ugh. ]
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The party. The making out with random dude.
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[ ... she really shouldn't just leave it there. she wants to! but she knows she shouldn't. so she won't. ..probably. no, definitely-! ]
Because I just knew you would worry, because the last time I got really drunk was at that stupid party my Junior year, but this isn't like that at all. This was messy, and embarrassing, and meaningless. Less than meaningless, if that's even possible. And I didn't want you to think
I don't know
anything, basically?
Because I didn't want you to know.
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But alright
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I just didn't want to give you a reason to.
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[ did she just, sort of, "no, YOU are" him? yep ]
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There has been something nipping at the back of his mind since this conversation started. A lingering guilt that's built up tight within his stomach. ]
Does any of this have anything to do with what happened a few nights ago?
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Any of what..? No? No.
I'm not 100% sure I know what you mean.
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The whole sexting thing?
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No! No, no, no. It's really not. I promise.
It doesn't have anything to do with that.
Not in the way you probably think it does, at least?
It's just
I really didn't want you to worry about me, that's most of it, but I also didn't want you to think I went to that party looking for someone to hook up with, or something.
Because I didn't.
I'm not.
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Nance, you don't have to explain.
Really. Like I said before it's none of my business..
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I'm being fucking serious.
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you know
for a rebound, or anything like that?
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I don't fucking know, Nancy!
1/2
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I don't regret texting you like that.
But I also don't regret going to that party, or having a few drinks.
All of those things can be true at the same time. But I wouldn't blame you for not believing that? So that's why didn't want you to know.
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